“And she’s my wife,” I fire back. “Whatever this is, whatever happens, she deserves to know before any of you do.”
The words are out before I can stop them. Everyone goes still, and they’re all staring at me. Ozzy’s expression shifts from anger to worry.
Miller’s eyes narrow on me. “So there is something.”
I let out a hard breath. “Yes.”
Guy’s face loses the last bit of humor. “Something bad?”
I look toward the open barn doors wishing I could escape, but I know if I try, my brothers would just tackle me to the ground until I told them something.
“Bad enough,” I say.
Zach crosses his arms. “Does it hurt Aria?”
I blow out a breath. “It already has.” And with that, it feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest.
Ozzy stares at me for a long second. “Then why the hell are you standing here with us instead of telling her?”
I stare at my brother. He knows loss better than any of us, and he has warned me over and over to hold on tightly to my wife. But this is different. By keeping her, I’m hurting her. And that’s the last thing I want to do. Instead of saying any of that, I shrug. “I’m trying to do what’s best for her.”
Ozzy laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “No, you’re not. You’re doing what’s easiest for you.”
I step toward him. “You don’t know that.”
“I know fear when I see it.”
That shuts me up. Because he’s right. I am scared of losing my wife.
Ozzy’s jaw tightens, and for a second, I see the grief he carries every damn day. He looks toward the house, then back at me. “You still have a wife to fight for,” he says. “You still have a woman who is standing right there, waiting for you to choose her. Don’t confuse pushing her away with protecting her.”
My chest tightens. “I’m trying not to hurt her.”
“But you are.”
The words hang between us, and I look away because I can’t argue with that.
Logan softens a little. “Penn, whatever it is, you can’t keep letting her think it’s her fault.”
My eyes close because that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I’ve made her feel like she’s unwanted or that she’s the problem. Heck, she’s wondered if I was cheating on her or if I even love her.
Miller’s voice is quieter. “If it’s bad enough to wreck you like this, it’s bad enough that she needs to know.”
“I know,” I say.
“Do you?” Ozzy asks.
I open my eyes and look at him.
He’s glaring at me. “Because from where I’m standing, you’re acting like a man who has already lost her and she’s not even gone yet.”
Those words hit harder than anything else.
Ozzy grabs a pair of gloves off the workbench and throws them at my chest. I catch them. “Since you need to protect your hands, I have you organizing the tack room.” He looks at the others. “You all are hauling hay and mending fences.”
Guy rolls his eyes. “What about my hands? I need to be able to swing a bat, ya know.”
Ozzy laughs. “It’s the off season. You’re okay. Plus, you got those muscles, might as well put them to good use.”
