A few people laugh, and soon the attention is off us. But Aria and I are still sitting there like we might break. Normally, we would laugh it off together, but Aria pulls her hand from mine. And that hurts worse than Zach’s question.
CHAPTER 2
ARIA
Skyler, Bree, and Lindsey are all looking at me with worry on their faces. None of them say a word, but I know exactly what they’re thinking. They know something is wrong between Penn and me.
Maybe they don’t know the details. Maybe they don’t know the words I can barely admit to myself. But they know enough because they’ve been watching it happen for the last year and a half.
They’re my best friends, my sisters-in-law, and the women I talk to almost every day. We talk about work, recipes, family dinners, and whatever chaos the Brody men have gotten themselves into. I love them, and I trust them, but I’ve never told them the truth about my marriage.
I’ve never told them how lonely I am or how some nights I lie awake beside my husband and feel farther away from him than I would if he were still at the hospital. Every time Penn shows up late or doesn’t show up at all, it feels like another piece of me is being left behind.
But even without me saying it, they’ve seen it.
They’ve seen Penn walk into family dinners halfway through the meal apologizing for being late. They’ve seen him kiss my forehead while he’s still looking at his phone. They’ve seen him leave before dessert because the hospital called, and they’ve seen me smile and tell everyone it’s okay when it isn’t.
They’ve seen the distance between us growing wider, and now, after Zach’s innocent question, they’re watching me like they’re afraid I might break in the middle of Skyler’s baby shower.
I hate that everyone can see how badly I want a family and that Penn is pulling away from me. But probably most of all, I hate that they can see me still trying to hold on to a man who doesn’t seem to want me anymore.
“Aria,” Penn says softly.
I shake my head and avoid his gaze.
I can’t get into this right here with his whole family looking at us. I’m barely holding it together as it is. I’m losing my husband.
Oh, he tells me he loves me and that we’re okay, but we’re not. And no matter how many times I ask him, he won’t tell me what’s really going on.
The party continues around us, and eventually everyone starts to mingle. I don’t say anything to Penn as I stand up and rush out of the room. I know Skyler will understand, and I can’t sit here for one more minute.
I let out a shaky breath as I step outside the restaurant and walk toward my car. I’m reaching for the door handle when I hear Penn behind me. “Aria, wait up. What’s wrong?”
I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head. The last thing I want to do is start crying in the parking lot.
When I finally turn to face my husband, I can’t keep the pain out of my voice. “Did you really just ask me that?”
Penn opens his mouth, but whatever he planned to say doesn’t come out. He just stands there staring at me, and somehow that makes everything hurt worse.
I grip the open car door because it feels like the only thing holding me up. “What do you want me to say, Penn? It’s nothing you haven’t heard before. You won’t talk to me. You won’t tell me what’s happening between us, and until you’re willing to really talk to me, we’re never going to fix this.”
My chest is heaving by the time I finish, and I hate that I sound desperate. I’m standing in front of the man I married, begging him to let me into a life I thought we were supposed to be building together.
He’s not angry. He doesn’t look confused or surprised either. He looks guilty.
That one look stops me.
Until this moment, I think part of me had still been making excuses for him. He is busy, and he’s important. Penn saves lives, and of course that means there are times he can’t be there the way I need him to be. I kept telling myself I was imagining the distance between us.
Maybe I was asking too much, but looking at him now, with his jaw tight and his eyes filled with guilt, I know.
There really is something wrong between us. Penn is hiding something from me.
And the worst part is, I’m not sure I want to know what it is.
I press my lips together and stare at my husband. He doesn’t try to explain or smooth things over. The guilt on his face stays there, and it feels like a punch to my stomach.
“I need to go,” I tell him.
