“I’m not trying to shut down.”
“Then talk to me.”
My jaw tightens. God, I want to. She deserves the truth, and she deserves to hear it from me. But then I look at my wife, and Ican’t make myself say it. She’s going to be devastated when she finds out. So all I do is sit there and stare at her.
She lets out a laugh, but there’s nothing funny about it. “Unbelievable.”
I reach for her, but she jerks away from my touch.
“Aria.”
“No.” She grabs her phone and pushes her chair back. “You came over here, asked if I was okay, basically asked if I was dating, told me you’d go to jail if I was with someone else, and then you still won’t tell me what this is.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t ask if you were dating.”
She gives me a look.
I exhale. “Fine. Maybe I did.”
“You did.”
“Fuck.” I drag a hand over my face. “I’m sorry. I had no right.”
She jabs her finger against the table. “You’re my husband, Penn. What do you mean you don’t have any right? None of this makes any sense, but I’m starting to piece it together.”
My whole body goes still. “What does that mean?”
She throws her hands up. “What is it? You don’t want me, but you want to string me along just in case you change your mind? Is that it?”
I stare at her, shocked. “What? No. Of course not.”
She thinks I don’t want her. After everything, after all the ways I’ve touched her and loved her and wanted her, that’s what I’vemade her believe. I take a deep breath, but it doesn’t help. “I love you.”
Her eyes shine with tears. “I know you do.”
She looks so sad it takes everything in me not to pick her up and cradle her against my chest.
She shakes her head. “But I don’t know if you want the same life I want anymore,” she whispers. “And I don’t know how to come home when you won’t tell me the truth.”
I look down at the table because I can’t face the pain I’m causing her.
She stands, and every instinct in me screams to reach for her.
“I have a patient,” she says.
I lift my eyes to hers. “Aria.”
She pauses, and for one second, I swear I see hope on her face.
I open my mouth and stutter out, “There’s no reason for both of us to be sleeping on couches. Go home. It’s yours.”
Her face falls, and I hate myself for it.
She nods once and turns away.
She makes it three steps before I can’t stop myself. “I don’t want you with anyone else.”
She stops, her back to me.
