Everyone has gone quiet now. They’re watching. Waiting for my response.
I don’t give him ayesor ano.
Instead, my safe word leaves my mouth.
“Mercy.”
It’s the one word I know he’ll obey. The only way I know he won’t follow me when I turn and leave in a rush out the door.
A burst of cold, nighttime air smacks me in the face. I’ve left my coat in the closet, but there’s no going back for it now. I close the door behind me, click down the steps, and walk at a quick clip down the sidewalk. I’m trying to make it off the block before I break down, but tears are already burning the backs of my eyelids, blurring my vision.
A car slow down beside me. It honks once. I ignore it.
The window rolls down. “Ophelia!” Dove calls out. “Get in!”
I hesitate. But it’s cold, and it’sDove…so I take the ride. I climb in the back of the cab and close the door behind me.
“Where’d Dorian go?”
Dove shrugs. “I left him at the club. You need me.”
“Dove…you don’t have to come to my rescue. I’m…” I choke. Now, I can’t stop the hot tears from leaking down my cheeks. “I’m too much. Too emotional. Too much of a mess. I want too much, love too hard, and then make it everyone’s fucking problem.”
I rub my face, trying to push away my tears. Dove catches my hand, pulls it towards her, and gives it a tight squeeze.
“Don’t,” she says. “You’re perfect. That wild, impulsive, big-hearted person brought me out of my darkest times. Don’t you dare bash her.”
My bottom lip trembles and swells with the pressure of trying to keep my tears at bay.
Dove continues, “You and me? This is the stuff of forever. I’m not leaving you when you need me. You do the same for me.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
She leans her head on my shoulder. I follow suit, resting my head against hers. “It’s okay,” she murmurs. “You’re going to be okay.”
34
Phantom.Now.
I’m on my knees when my heart walks straight out of my chest and out the door.
Ophelia leaves, and it feels like she’s taken parts of me with her. The air leaves my lungs. The blood evaporates from my veins. I shrivel and shrink and there’s nothing but emptiness inside of me.
“Hey,” Carver says, breaking the unsettled silence that’s fallen over the club, “good for you, man! Had to give it the old college try.”
For once, I’m grateful for Carver’s tactlessness, because it snaps me out of my daze. I push myself up to my feet, rising.
“Party’s over,” I announce. “Everyone, out.”
And, like that, people get up and begin to leave. The smart ones, anyway. I feel someone approach me, and my body bristles when Trinity gets close.
“Phantom,” she says, “I’m?—”
I can sense an apology on her tongue. I cut her off before she gets there.
“Especially you,” I tell her. “Out.”
Those eyes widen, briefly wounded. But then she drops her gaze and obeys, taking her exit.
