My jaw clenched. I stared at the tea kettle. Scream, damn you.
Cisco’s hand touched the small of my back. It slid underneath my shirt. I could feel the cool band of his wedding ring against my skin and it sent ugly chills up my arms.
His breath was hot on my ear. “Do you know what I’m thinking about right now?”
No.No.
I jolted, sitting upright suddenly, and gasped like a woman pulled from the ocean.
Phantom knelt beside me, looking concerned. “Ophelia, are you okay?”
“No,” I groaned. “No, no, no.”
I couldn’t sit still. I needed to move. I pushed up to my feet, scrambling out of Phantom’s touch, and start pacing the room. My heart pounding, my blood rushing, I dug my hands into my hair and growled like a caged animal.
“Fuck,” I heard myself say. “Fuck.”
The memory was chasing me. I couldn’t shake it. I squeezed my eyes shut. I pulled at my hair until the roots hurt my scalp. I needed to feelsomething. Anything besides this panic roaring through my veins.
“Ophelia.” Calm. Gentle. “You’re safe here. You’re okay.”
His voice was a lighthouse, pulling me back to safe harbor. I found my body steering towards it. Choking on panic, I fell to my knees. I crawled to him, curled up, and rested my head back in his lap. Where it belonged.
His hand slipped through my hair. My heart was still kicking, but the adrenaline rush was fading. Here, with Phantom, I felt protected from the things that hunted me.
His fingertips slid to my face. My jaw had clenched up again. I was fighting the desire to run. To hit something. To?—
“Scream,” Phantom said.
I cried out. But it wasn’t enough. A pained, wounded animal sound.
He circled his hand over my throat. His thumb pressed underneath my jaw, unlocking it.
“Louder,” he instructed. “I want to feel it against my palm.”
I really screamed this time. A howl. Carnal, animal, angry and hurt at the same time. I didn’t care about his neighbors. I didn’t care if Princess thought he was killing me. I screamed, and something cracked open inside my chest.
Wonderful, sweet release.
My face was wet. Was I crying?
“Good girl.” He pet my hair back. “That was perfect.”
I sniffled. The buzzing, the humming, angry, tense feeling inside of me—all of it was leaving my body. For a moment, I felt nothing but sweet peace as his strong hands swept through my hair, drawing me deeper into a rest state.
I looked up and stared into those eyes. Those soft, intense browns. I picked out the spots of gold and green in them. A beautiful kaleidoscope of color.
For a long time, we just sat together in comfortable silence.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
My throat felt sore. I croaked, “I could eat.”
My nervous system had gone through a hard reset. I was starving like I hadn’t eaten in days. Phantom took me out to the café around the block. It was bustling, but we found a private table. He’d bought us both coffees and bagels. Mine was an everything bagel packed with cream cheese. It was the best bagel I’d ever had in my life, toasted to a crisp on the outside with soft, warm bread on the inside. The salt on the top tickled my tongue. I moaned as I ate, like a heathen.
He didn’t touch his bagel with as much ferocity. He sipped on his coffee instead.
“This bagel,” I said between bites, “deserves a medal of honor.” I eyed Phantom. He was quiet, watching me warily. “You good?” I asked.
