I propped my chin on my hand. “It looks good on you.”
His eyes crinkled, but he cast me a look that felt like a warning. “I’ll see you at the club, Ophelia.”
“Yes. You will.”
15
Ophelia.Then.
That night, I got in bed, called Phantom, and we practicedGiveover the phone. He instructed me how he wanted me to use my vibrator, guiding me through the various settings. When I got close, he told me toGive, and I exploded. We practiced again. And again. Until my cunt ached and I had to bite my own hand to keep myself from whimpering too loudly.
Then I didn’t hear from him for days.
In his silence came the hounds at my heels. I felt chased by my own vicious thoughts. The anxious thoughts.You’re too needy. You’re too much. You’re going to scare him away. He had his fun playing with you, but now?—
Then, one afternoon, I came home and found Aleena’s stuff scattered around the living room. Two packed bags sat like little soldiers at the door.
Aleena was at the kitchen table, feeding Squeaky. She glanced up. “Shhh,” she said. “He’s finally settling down.”
“What’s this?” I gestured to the bags.
A smile crossed her face. “The apartment is ready. The one above mom and dad’s.”
“And you’re leaving? Now?”
“I didn’t see the point in waiting.” She must’ve heard the anxiety in my voice, however, because she lowered her smile. “Ruby. This is good news.”
“I know. I know. I just…” I didn’t expect it, but now that it was here, I couldn’t stop it. I choked. Tears burned and my vision blurred. “Don’t leave,” I whispered. “Please, don’t leave.”
“Oh, Ruby…”
I went over and rested my head on her shoulder. I inhaled the smell of baby, like oil and sleep, and…I was going to miss this. I held Aleena and Squeaky and she curled her arm around me, holding me back.
“I’m going to be okay,” she promised. “We’regoing to be okay.”
I should’ve be happy for them. I knew that. She was right—our parents were retired, they had more time to give. But I couldn’t help the crushing feeling that I’d failed her and the kids. Selfishly, I wanted themhere. In my apartment. Where I could take care of them. Where I could make up for my wrongs.
But fate had other plans. I helped her pack up the rest of her things and together, we moved her into our parents’ apartment. Seven pm rolled around, and I’d never needed the club so badly in my life. I punched in the code, entered the Harlem brownstone, and left the rest of the world outside.
No more Ruby. I was Ophelia now. With none of Ruby’s clinginess and desperation and all of Ophelia’s lust and passion and joy.
Princess sat in her usual spot by the door. I said hi and she gave an unenthusiastic wave back. But I’d come bearing gifts.
I handed over a graphic novel. I had no idea what it was, but the guy at the bookstore said it was, and I quote,dope. Princess blinked, surprised, but took the gift with a soft,thank you.
I was goingto win her over, dammit.
The second gift under my arm was for Phantom. I’d spent the evening wrapping up the box in cute, colorful paper.
I, too, was delicately wrapped. A tight-fitting dress. My hair pulled back in a bundle of curls. A little dab of perfume on my inner thighs. I wanted him to be as absolutely feral for me as I was for him.
Tonight, I was going to get spanked and fucked until this tangle of emotion in my chest disappeared.
But Princess had bad news for me. “Phantom isn’t here yet.”
“Oh.” A smile to hide my disappointment. “That’s fine. I’ll just hang out.”
She let me leave my present behind her desk. I moved to the bar, got myself a cup of water, and waited.
