Dorian blinks at us. He’s wearing nothing but pajama pants, crooked glasses, and a completely bemused expression.
“Fuck me,” I swear.
“No, thank you.”
I unhook Spud. He goes and splats on his dog bed, like the excitement is all too much for him to handle.
Dorian just…stands there. He has the look of someone who stepped into a room and completely forgot what he came in for. His dark hair is a windswept storm cloud on his head. Dorian, I’ve learned, is not a morning person.
“How long have you been here?” I ask.
“I spent the night.”
“Huh.”Weird. Usually I hear them fucking all night?—
As if he can read my mind, he says, “We invested in a ball gag.”
“Ah. Coffee?”
“Please.”
He flops down at the kitchen table. I take out three mugs, fill them, and take the other seat just as Dove exits the bedroom.
“Morning!” she says. She is bright and, somehow, full of energy. She sweeps over beside me and wraps her hands around the mug. “Mmmm. Coffee, coffee, coffee.”
I pour a spoonful of sugar into my mug. Dorian clutches his mug like it’s the holy grail, but he’s still looking around the apartment like he’s just stepped off a spaceship. “Did someone hire a maid?”
“It’s Phantom.” I wave my hand dismissively. “If he’s had a long day at work, sometimes he comes over and deep cleans my apartment before going home. My apartment is apparently his own personal Zen garden.”
“Can he have a bad day at my apartment? I’ve got bookshelves that need sorting.”
“I like to call it the magical cleaning fairy,” Dove adds. “That way, I don’t have to think about Phantom going through my laundry.”
“He cleans your house. For free.” Dorian still sounds in shock. “Why are you breaking up with him again?”
“Actually, this isexactlythe problem,” I argue. “Notice how he didn’t text and say,hey, can I come over?No. He justdoes shitand then I’m supposed to, what? Fall all over his dick for it?”
“So entitled.” Dove shakes her head.
“I’ll suck him off if you don’t,” Dorian offers.
“No,no.” Dove puts down her coffee and puts up her phone. I watch as she swipes into the Seekers Club app. “We’renotgoing to let one little act of kindness erase a whole three years of absolutely fuckery. Let’s not forget Phantom is also a liar,and a meddler, and you deserve better. You deserve…oh.” Dove slides the phone across the table to me. She taps the profile of an attractive man around our age. “Hot, tattooed Dominant.Andhe’s a bartender. Free drinks for days.”
I frown at the profile. “Ugh. Dating sounds…exhausting right now. I just don’t know if I can go back to mediocre sex after I’ve had a grown ass man who knows exactly how to move his fingers to make me squirt.”
Dove sighs dreamily. “That does sound nice.”
Dorian narrows his eyes. “Why are you…saying that like you don’t know?”
She tilts her head. “What. Have I squirted before?”
“Have you…” His lips thin. “Yes. Multiple times. Are you serious right now?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know! I guess it all feels the same to me. Are you sure I wasn’t just really wet?”
“I’m sure!” he says, exasperated. “You have! You definitely have!” Dorian leaves the table and throws up his hand. “Unappreciated in my time!”
He takes his coffee and walks away. He flops on the couch and picks up a book, mumbling to himself.
