How did Dove phrase it?
Sex goggles, off.
I regain control of the conversation.
[Text: Ophelia]
I’ll give you back your cleaning products.
[Text: Phantom]
They’re yours.
I dig into the coat closet by the door. The apartment is small, and we don’t have a lot of closet space. However, I know that Phantom has stuffed a bucket back here, along with cleaning wipes, gloves, scented spray, and other deep-cleaning gadgets that he uses when he comes over. He keeps it well stocked andrefills as needed. When I tug the bucket out, however, I find that there’s more than cleaning products back here.
He’s squirreled away a whole overnight bag.
I yank the backpack out. The zipper whines as I open it. I dump the contents, and find: rope (neatly spooled), nipple clamps, a blindfold, a vibrator, a change of clothes (casual), a bag of fancy dog treats (that explains Spud’s size), and a small toiletry bag containing a toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, moisturizer. Most alarming of all, the toiletry bag is a silver, shiny material with brightly colored unicorn patches glued to it.
I spread the items out on the floor. Then I take a picture of the loot and send it back to him.
[Text: Ophelia]
Why do you have so much shit at my place?
[Text: Phantom]
Just the essentials.
[Text: Ophelia]
Also. Unicorns?
Phantom is typing. Erasing. Typing again.
[Text: Phantom]
I’m full of whimsy.
I can hear it in his dry, humorless tone. I snort on a laugh.
And then I hate myself for it.
No.No.
Stop being charmed by him. Stop enjoying the clean house and the secret backpack and the stupid dad jokes.
Stop being in love with him.
Anger, wild and untamed, suddenly flares up inside of me.
I shove all of his stuff back into the backpack. Then I put the backpack in the bucket, and I carry it to my window. I open the window and slide the bucket containing all of Phantom’s things out onto the fire escape. Then I snap a picture ofthatand send it to him as well.
[Text: Ophelia]
I’m leaving your shit out here. Come get it before it gets rained on.
[Text: Ophelia]
