A sigh cuts through my spiral.
“I don’t know the situation—” I glance up at Amanda, who’s no longer watching her phone. “But if it involves him, I’ve got to say something. Because it can’t be as world-ending as you clearly think it is.”
Slowly, I shake my head. “It’s bad.”
She finishes the last of her cookie, then dusts her hands off. “Two years ago, when I was still pretty new, I crashed one of our boats. I’d just started driving them, and a storm was coming in as I pulled up to the dock. The wind messed me up, the bow started heading for one of the pilings, and I panicked. Hit the throttle too hard and went right intoanother one of our boats.” She laughs to herself. “Damage was so bad, we were out of two skiffs for a week.”
I can’t imagine a world where Amanda got that flustered. She’s always so…unbothered.
Her feet drop from the chair, and she swings to face me, leaning on the table. “I thought Gray was going to fire my ass and sue me for damages. The thing was entirely my fault. But he didn’t.” She shrugs. “He was upset, at first. Didn’t say a word, and I thought I was done for. Then he found me about ten minutes later and told me not to worry. Said they have insurance for a reason, and that it was his fault for sending me out there alone in unfamiliar conditions.”
I understand the point she’s trying to make, but if anything, her story only shreds me more.Thisis the person I just inadvertently hurt. The person I might’ve justlost.
But Amanda isn’t done. “I was just another employee that he’d only known for six months, and he had my back, no questions asked.” She studies me. “He’s got yours.”
She doesn’t know what I did. “How can you be so sure?”
Smiling to herself, she shakes her head, like it’s the world’s dumbest question. “Back when you started, when you two were going at it like little squirrels fighting over a tree branch, he’d steal looks at you all day long. Then he started correcting the team with your title when they called you the video or phone girl. Then he started bringing you up in conversations you really didn’t need to be part of.”
“Insults, I’m sure.”
“No,” she corrects, leaning back in her chair. “Neutral things. Nice things. The stuff you say about a person you can’t stop thinking about, but don’t hate.”
Oh.
“At some point, he fell ass over head for you, giving you these longing, doe-eyed looks I don’t think were even conscious. Smiling when people mentioned you, going out of his way to do things for you.”
My breathing turns shallow, like inhaling too deeply might drown out her words.
“He told us to leave a parking space open for you by the office. He’d have us put the nicest pick-up bags on the lowest shelf in the fridge. Keep an eye out for you on your morning swims if we had an early shift. Tidy up one of the skiffs every day so you wouldn’t have to move stuff if you wanted to film it. That day he asked Kenny and I to make that sorting tutorial for you, we were already drowning in work.
“And every single day he was in Ohio and I sent him reports about the farm, he’d ask about you—if you were working too hard, taking on too much. If it seemed like you had a good day. Every. Single. Time.”
Tears burn my eyes again, but not for the reason they did before.
“You ask how I can be so sure he’s got your back,” she says, waving a hand in the air. “Well, duh. He’s in fucking love with you.”
37
ELIZA
Amanda’s declarationrings in my ears, punching through my despair.
I glance at my trembling hands.
Maybe I’m reacting this way because instinct is telling me toget up and fix thisbefore it’s too late.
The revelation zaps me like a lightning bolt.
“I need to go,” I breathe.
The chair scrapes against cement as I jump to my feet and beeline it for the dock, Amanda on my heels.
“Okay. Let’s take a sec,” she coaxes, trying to keep up with me.
But I don’t have a second. I never should have let him leave the dock without me.
Marching past the last slip, I scan the water. There’s no sign of him on the horizon.
