Despite the urge to argue, I obey her. If she leaves, I’ll have to grovel again. She may not forgive me this time. And I need her for this. I need Kazh’s support and mentorship if I’m to accomplish all the things I must.
With closed eyes, I exhale until my lungs are completely empty. It takes me longer than usual to calm my running mind and thrashing heart.
Inhale.
Exhale.
I don’t feel.
I don’t think.
I simply am.
A calm lake.
“Now, search for the door you already know.” Kazh’s voice reaches my ears.
I steel myself and go deeper into my mind. I know what to look for, and where to find it. When the familiar door emerges, my heart doesn’t even stutter.
My core burns, and I cling to that feeling like my life depends on it.
“Keep the connection to your physical body strong,” Kazh instructs.
I reach for the door handle just as distant shouts reach my ears. Weapons drawn, steel clanging. It breaks my concentration and my eyes shoot open.
I blink, disoriented for a moment. Kazh stands in front of me, but she’s facing the archway where my guards stand with their weapons drawn. Quickly, I rise and approach to get a better look at whoever is at the bottom of the stairs.
It’s just another Ezkai. He’s panting, nose red from the cold.
“What’s going on?” I place my hands on the guards’ shoulders. They lower their swords, but remain rooted in place. A shield between me and the fae who just arrived.
He presses his fist to his chest and bows at his waist. “General. An urgent message just arrived for you.”
I look around and behind him.
Kazh comes to stand at my side. “What sort of message is worth interrupting your General’s meditation, you fuckwit?”
The Ezkai looks up, blinking. “Ah—I’m sorry, General. But it was just delivered with a small package and I was told to bring it to you immediately.”
“Has the Taaslord approved?” one of my guards, Ezkai Emil, asks.
It’s the first time I’ve heard him speak since he’s been guarding me. His voice is raspy, stone grinding on stone.
“I have not brought it to the Taaslord, but directly to the General,” the Ezkai says.
“You know the damn rules,” my second guard, Ezkai Bjorn, speaks up. “All packages must be vetted before they’re presented to the General.”
“It’s okay,” I say and slip between them to reach the messenger. I extend my palm for him. “Show it to me.”
My guards exchange a couple of words and Ezkai Emil takes off, leaving only Ezkai Bjorn with me. I’m sure he’s headed to see Noire and inform him of this.
The messenger hands me a small box with a note attached. Immediately my heart sinks. I’m frozen for a heartbeat.
I know this box.
It’s the same one I received with Vera’s choker during my inauguration.
With trembling fingers, I remove the bow and the top of the box. My knees almost give out when I see what’s inside.
