I simply am.
An unmoving mountain.
With an exhale, I approach the Well. The ethereal water is just as disorienting as I remember it, the strings of different shades of blue weaving together as if they’re alive.
It takes every ounce of my willpower not to freak out.
“Please remove your leathers, General,” the monk instructs me.
My head whips towards him. I must look as bewildered as I feel because the monk gestures at the Well and says, “The ritual will take place inside the Well, General. It’s a custom for the Ezkai General to take an oath in their most natural form.”
Mm-hmm, most natural form.I manage not to roll my eyes and start stripping. The monks respectfully do not look, and once I shimmy my leather pants down and step out of them, three of them are already inside the Well.
They get to keep their robes on and I don’t?I scoff inside my mind.
With an exhale, I try to rid myself of my annoyance. The walls I’ve built around myself to contain everything I don’t want out in the world are close to crumbling. I can feel it. Yet, there’s not much I can do.
I thought being the Ezkai General, having the power I lacked, would give me control. But I’ve never felt so out of control in my whole damn life.
It’s like sand between my fingers, slipping away no matter how hard I clutch.
Tears burn the backs of my eyes and the tip of my nose tingles. I blink rapidly and bite the inside of my cheek to keep them at bay.
Life’s hard. Toughen up.
“General, we’ll start whenever you’re ready,” the monk says.
I glance at him and nod. Slowly, I descend the wide stairs into the Well. Second time around, the experience is not much more comfortable.
It’s odd, seeing my body submerge into water that feels nothing like water. The tendrils swirl around me, enveloping me in a blanket of all hues of blue.
The three monks standing in the Well extend their arms, welcoming me in their embrace. I glance at the fourth monk behind me. He gives me an assuring nod and follows the steps down into the Well.
Bracing myself, I approach the monks. I try not to flinch when their hands land on my shoulders, turning me around soI face the fourth monk. Only now do I notice him holding an amber glass bottle in one of his hands.
“Today, you stand in the Well and swear the Ashen Oath to the spirits of the gods and people of Ekios. The ultimate show of your undying loyalty to people who trust you to lead them into a better future, to protect them from harm,” the monk says, lifting the amber bottle in the air between us.
My pulse races, but I steady my breathing. The hands on my shoulders and back push me down. My first instinct is to fight the pull, but I force my knees to bend.
I don’t expect them to push my head under the water. But they do.
My lungs seize, lips parting as a scream rises out of my throat?—
But I’m not choking on the water. I’m not drowning.
I’m floating, light as a feather. I close my mouth and open it again, trying to understand what’s happening. But I can’t wrap my head around the sensation of warm tendrils caressing my naked flesh.
There’s oxygen. I can breathe.
Before I can understand how that’s possible, the same hands pull me up. When I emerge, I’m soaked in water, my wet hair clinging awkwardly to my face. I cough, my chest burning.
“Swear the oath, General, and let it burn a path inside you,” the monk says, still holding the bottle between us. “Repeat after me: I stand before ash and witness. Before fire that remembers what blood forgets.”
I do as he says, words spilling from my lips without hesitation.
“I renounce the claim of lineage. I sever the future that would bear my name. Let no child rise from my flesh, nor legacy bind me beyond my duty,” he continues and I repeat after him. My mind is empty, chest void of any emotions. “I am General beforeI am body. I am oath before I am blood. By ash taken inward and fire made law, I am unmade where kingdoms are born.”
He pauses and hands me the amber bottle, holding my hands in his. It’s warm, unusually so. I don’t even look at the small object, keeping the monk’s gaze.
