What did I think would happen?
“Come over here, pretty boy.” Bloom breaks the tense silence and pats the bench next to her. My shoulders sag with relief. “I hear you’re from Emera. You must tell me if it’s true what they say about Emerian men.”
Jax doesn’t miss a beat. With a nonchalant smile, he pivots and joins Bloom and Fern. “What do they say about Emerian men?”
“That they’re either heartbreakers or liars,” Bloom says sweetly.
Fern snorts. “Or both.”
Jax’s smile doesn’t waver. “That solely depends on your luck.”
Bloom and Fern exchange a glance and chuckle.
“Let’s hope we’re lucky,” Fern says with a smirk.
Bloom shovels some food into her mouth and says, “I know we are. I can feel it.”
A passing monk hands me a full plate of grilled veggies and a stew of some sort. He brings one to Jax, too.
The scent is delicious, and from the way everyone is stuffing themselves around the table, it’s clear the food is delicious, too.
But it’s as if my stomach is full of rocks, and a huge ball is lodged in my throat. I’m not sure I can stomach anything right now. So, I sit in silence and push my food around the plate.
“You’ve got to eat,” Kazh mutters from beside me. “You think your dragon’s gonna want to bond a Decarios who looks like a scarecrow?”
“I don’t look like a scarecrow.”
She arches an eyebrow. “Not yet.”
I snort, but my mouth twitches upwards. I pop a piece of juicy grilled cauliflower into my mouth. The sauce is sweet and sour. Delicious. Yet, I have a hard time chewing and swallowing.
We’re here, enjoying a peaceful lunch in the most beautiful monastery in the mountains, while Vera’s somewhere. Being tortured.
The food turns to ash in my mouth. I place my fork down.
“Ezkai Ravenna, Noire recommended you for this journey. He speaks highly of you and your skills as a mender,” I say to the Ezkai across from me at the table.
She lifts her eyes to meet mine. “Thank you, General. That’s an honor.”
“Why did you choose the healer’s path?” I ask. “I had a friend from the Mender’s Unit. When we were squad mates at the Ezkai Academy, he told me once that he prefers to mend the wounds instead of inflicting them.”
Ezkai Ravenna smiles. “Ezkai Roman, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah.” I clear my throat. “You knew him?”
“Well. Once he joined the Mender Unit, I took him on as my personal mentee,” she says, her smile growing even brighter. My heart twists. “He was a wonderful Ezkai, so quick and witty, with exceptional ability to calm his patients. I think I learned new tricks from him in the short time I knew him, too. My strength, just like his, was in putting people back together. Not tearing them apart.”
The backs of my eyes burn. The heaviness that settles over me threatens to bring me down. But I manage a nod and a smile.
Roman and the others I’ve lost are not here anymore.
But they never truly leave, do they?
The sound of a familiar laugh draws my attention. I glance at where Jax, Bloom, and Fern sit at the other end of the table, lost in a heated conversation. Ezkai Emil sits next to Jax, and he has joined in their little group, too.
As if he can sense my gaze, Jax turns his head slightly and our eyes meet.
You look as if you’ve just seen a ghost, darling, Jax’s voice echoes in my mind.
