“I know being around me, being connected to me in this way, is…a lot. More than you probably bargained for. If I knew that the bond would create this connection between us I would have thought longer about offering it as a solution to you.”
Jax scoffs.
“I’m sorry. I know you didn’t sign up for this.”
Jax’s lips curl into a sarcastic smirk. He shakes his head and kicks a pebble with his foot. “You just don’t get it, do you?”
I frown. “Don’t get what?”
“The problem isn’t me being your Blood Sentineal, us being bonded and having this connection,” he says and turns to face me fully. For the first time since we met, his gaze is hard as he looks down at me. “The problem is you’d rather break alone than let anyone stand with you.”
I open my mouth to argue, but Jax doesn’t give me an opportunity.
He simply turns and walks away.
Bristling, I kick a rock with my foot. He has no idea what he’s talking about.
Lorca’s presence awakens at the back of my mind. As always, at the worst possible moment.
I brace myself, but no mocking words come. Lorca only chuckles and brushes its tail across my thoughts.
Nothing to add?I snap.
Silence.
For once, Lorca has nothing to say.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
PHOENIX
By the time I return to the monastery, I’m shivering so hard from the cold, my teeth are clattering. Jax marched ahead of me so fast that I lost track of him. When I return to our shared bedroom, he’s not there.
Maybe it’s for the better.
Right now, the less time we spend together, the better.
From the top drawer, I pull out a dry set of Ezkai leathers and start stripping. I’m trembling so intensely, all I can focus on is peeling the wet leathers off me as fast as possible and pulling on the new set. So, I completely miss the door opening behind me. Just as I pull my pants over my hips, a sharp inhale draws my attention.
I glance over my shoulder.
Jax stands frozen in the doorway. His wide eyes are on my naked back, riddled with scars from my Wetran Decarios training and the fire…
His nostrils flare. “Who—whodid this to you?”
I snap out of the trance in that moment. I clear my throat and reach for the black long-sleeve undershirt. My hands tremble as I pull it over my head and rush to cover the scars.
Stuffing the undershirt into my leather pants, I turn to face him. “Me. During my Decarios training in Wetra, we had to cut ourselves a thousand times to pass.” I pause, swallow the lump in my throat. “And the other scars are from the fire when my parents died. I rushed into the burning house trying to save them and, well, got burned.”
A muscle in Jax’s jaw ticks. But he says nothing. He nods and then gestures to the corridor behind him. “The breakfast is served. Everyone’s already there. Thought I should let you know.”
I grab my leather jacket and slide my arm into it. “Thanks. I’ll be right there.”
I turn away and pull my jacket on. He hovers in the doorway for a heartbeat, but thankfully, leaves.
Left alone, I quietly strap my blades to my waist and hips, and hide a couple in my boots. My hair’s a damp mess. Not so gently, I untangle it with my brush and braid it. When I glance one last time in the mirror, the reflection I find there startles me.
My skin has lost some of its color, which is normal considering the Ekios sun is not even half as strong as in Wetra. My cheeks are once more just as hollow as they were when I first arrived here.
