Exhale.
I don’t think.
I don’t feel.
I simply am.
A steady mountain.
The world falls away. Only darkness remains. Until the red door appears. I reach for the handle, but don’t open it until I quickly recenter myself in my physical body.
You got this.
The tapping continues. The burning of my muscles is real.
I turn the handle and open the door. I pause, but eventually I enter. There’s nothing but darkness beyond the door. Kazh’s tapping sounds a little farther away, the burning of my muscles feels more distant. But everything else is the same.
Something touches my ankle. A swish of a fluffy tail. I whirl around, but there’s nothing.
Lorca’s laugh echoes all around me.
Welcome, General, it purrs into my ear.
Huh. Usually, Lorca feels tangled in my thoughts. Somewhere at a distance. But now…it’s right there next to me.
Finally, something materializes in front of me. A tall figure. Broad shoulders. Dark hair falling around the face, and those dark coal eyes.
Daegel.
I was rooting for you, but I have to be honest, I wasn’t sure you’d finally make it here. It’s Lorca’s voice, I know it. But the words are coming from Daegel’s mouth.
I’m paralyzed by the fear, and grief. It settles heavily over me, pulling me into a tangled mess I can’t escape.
Come on now, General. You can’t master that which you fear.
No, no, no.
I can’t.
I whirl around and bolt towards the red door back into the safety of my own mind. The part of my mind I control.
With a gasp, I open my eyes. For a moment I can’t get a breath down. But once it registers in my mind that I’m in the meditation room with Kazh, my body relaxes.
There’s a deep line wedged between Kazh’s eyebrows. “What happened?”
I clear my throat, panting. “I entered through the door, into my subconscious.”
“And?”
I press my lips into a thin line and remain silent. No way in the world can I admit Lorca was there, in the form of Daegel. That would lead to more questions, and more explanations. Ones I can’t give. Don’t want to.
I shake my head. Kazh sighs.
She taps her cane twice. “Again.”
I don’t react immediately.
“Again,” Kazh repeats, harder. “You’ll do this over and over again until you have perfect control over your emotions and subconscious mind.”
