If he returned my feelings, he would’ve said something by now.
Forcing myself to accept the truth and caving under the growing collection of fantasies our fleeting moments created, I’d let Tessa take me to an “Adult Bookstore” to buy a vibrator.
And in all the times I’d visualized Blake Hawthorne in his current position, on his knees in front of me, the scenario had played out differently.
“Save me, Addie-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.”
If I claimed I’d never had an explicit dream involving light sabers and Star Wars cosplay, I’d be the world’s biggest liar. Many had occurred, but never for this reason.
“I’m not tutoring you, Blake.”
“Seriously?”
He pouted, a whine leaving his lips that should’ve turned me off, but I found annoyingly adorable instead. I turned away from him, leaving him to beg on the carpet. My three papers wouldn’t magically write themselves, and with two upcoming exams, I had a full plate already.
Relaying this information to Blake did nothing to stop his begging.
As I walked into my room, I glimpsed him in my full-length mirror. He scooted on his knees to follow me into my bedroom. I swung the door closed behind me, ignoring his cry of protest. It hit his hands with a thud as he stopped it from hitting his face.
I closed my eyes, praying for patience as he crawled over to my desk.
When he dropped his clasped hands onto my lap, dramatically throwing his head on top of my legs, a different fantasy played out in a less desirable way. With his face dangerously close to the apex of my thighs, he pleaded. “Help me, Addie. I need you.”
I resisted the urge to squirm and give away how much his proximity affected me. A girl could only take so much, and with his face inches from where the darkest corners of my brain imagined it each morning and night, desire pulsed between my legs. My eyes widened at the first wave of it, and I went rigid beneath him, squeezing my thighs together out of fear he’d notice.
He needed to get away before I embarrassed myself.
A second later, he sat upright with wide eyes and red cheeks. “Shit, Addie. Sorry.”
His eyes darted between my legs, and mortification crept up my neck like a spider, sending a wave of anxiety rolling through me. I shook my head, scrambling to explain my sudden arousal with anything other than“Take me, I’m yours.”
“It’s not?—”
“It’s your personal space. I know. I know.”
He swallowed deeply before he shuffled back a few inches, his eyes still darting down to my legs before he tore them away.
I wanted the ground to swallow me whole, but I was already in hell.
With Blake still very much on his knees and begging, he pressed his palms together and held them up in front of him. “Iseriously need your help, or I’m going to fail. I’ll get kicked off the team, my future will be ruined. I’ll become a fat, drunk has-been at only age eighteen.”
Drawing a breath for us both, I stared at my workload. “I really don’t have time, Blake.”
I didn’t see a way to make it work, but saying no to him had always been impossible.
When he mirrored my frown, the disappointment on his face crushed me.
I placed a hand on his shoulder, regarding him seriously. “Are you that behind?”
He dropped his eyes and nodded. “I thought I was managing okay, but I had a string of practices, and I let my work slip. I bombed my first test in one of my classes…or maybe two.”
“Have you talked to your professors?”
“No. What are they going to say? I remember how that conversation goes from high school, Addie. ‘Sorry you chose football over academics, and now you lose both. Best wishes in your future endeavors.’ Why bother?”
My eyes flew skyward. “Blake, you have to let them know what’s going on. See if there’s anything you can do to make up assignments or get extra credit.”
He stared at me like I’d grown a second head. “But…why?”
