The sting from my every interaction with Blake slowly lessened, and I let myself get lost in Finn’s warm brown eyes. With a hue that matched the whiskey in his glass, when he swirled it as he stared at me, it kicked up a whirl of butterflies in my belly.
When the guys suggested heading back to their place, Tessa did her due diligence. She pulled me aside, offering to leave if I didn’t want to go. I hesitated, but I didn’t say no.
Even if Finn’s eyes weren’t my favorite shade of blue, and his hair fell in jet black waves past his ears instead of a sandy blonde, I wanted to stop holding back. I wanted to be valued by the man staring at me as if I were the most desirable person in the room.
To be held and touched like a woman, not kept in a box where I’d always be a little kid.
The way I constantly was with Blake.
I needed to stop waiting for a day that felt like it would never come.
And when I voiced my agreement, Finn stood from the table and stalked toward me. His tattooed arms and soulful eyes stirred desire low in my belly. He ran his fingers up the bare skin of my arm, and Tessa took that as her cue to rejoin Peter.
With the first stroke of his tongue against mine, I let Finn drive away my thoughts of what could’ve been with Blake. He kissed me fervently beneath the moonlight, reminding me of who I wanted to become and not who I’d always been.
And later that night, he brought my body to life in the dark.
9
ADDIE
FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE, DECEMBER 2017, AGE 18
Istared at the two outfits I’d laid out on my bed, wrinkling my nose at my choices.
“I hate everything I own.”
Tessa called out from my bathroom, yelling so I’d hear her over the music playing. “Since when?”
“I don’t know.” With a frown, I lifted the first dress off the bed. “Since every outfit started looking like it belonged in a catalog for tea parties or grandmas?”
“What?” She croaked out a laugh, poking her head out of the door and assessing me. “You’ve always had a great sense of style, Addie. Unique, yes, but…yours.”
From where I’d been standing at the foot of my bed for the last twenty minutes, it didn’t feel that way. Even the black dress I’d worn the night I met Finn felt off as I held it up.
I took it off the hanger, dropped my towel, and pulled the dress over my head.
After adjusting it, I stared at myself in the full-length mirror.
My frown deepened, and I glanced past my reflection to my bedroom door behind me, wondering if my shoes would help. Heading out to the living room, I kept an ear out for signs of life, but Blake and Adam weren’t home.
I didn’t expect to see them until dinner, but I wasn’t as aware of their comings and goings as I’d been two months ago. Before, I could’ve set my watch to their routines.
Now, I accepted the possibility they might have changed as much as I had.
Tugging my heels on, I stood in front of the mirror again.
The outfit was cute, sure. And the heels made me feel slightly more grown up, but something about it still didn’t fit.
Tessa came out of the bathroom, eyeing me suspiciously as I deliberated.
Her red curls bounced as she hopped up and took a seat on my bed. “Talk to me, Addie.”
My brow furrowed. I brushed my hands over the dress before turning to face her.
Option number two was still laid out beside her, but that dress, my navy-blue graduation dress, was too formal for tonight.
“Tonight is supposed to be special. It’s been two months since we met, and I…” As Tessa studied my face, I dropped my gaze, needing to look away as I admitted the truth. “I’m ready to take the next step with him. It’s time.”
