I scoffed, brushing off his question and passing him to continue our first lap.
He didn’t force a confession out of me, but his question hung between us like a noose as we ran, itching to tighten around my neck.
I needed to say something, but denying it outright would only make him more suspicious.
We smiled at Addie as we passed her, with Adam calling out that we’d meet her by the entrance when we were done. Veering to the left, I followed him through the alcove to start our first climb up and down the stadium steps.
Addie waved us on, huffing something under her breath about cardio being the devil.
A smile tugged at my lips.
I instantly flattened them into a thin line.
Refocusing, I jogged down the first line of steps, ran across the row of seats to the next staircase, and ran back up. Each time we reached the top, we went back under the cover of the lower level, where we’d begun our run.
At the end of our first lap, we were drenched in sweat, my hair remained incredible, and we jogged in place waiting for Addie to catch up.
“Just so you know…it wasn’t meant to be that hard of a question, Blake.”
I lifted my head from where I’d bent at the waist to catch my breath, having pushed myself harder than usual today.
Adam shrugged. “I’m not blind. I know that Addie is…pretty, or whatever. And you two fight a lot. My Intro to Psychology class suggested that’s a common method for young males to display affection or attraction.”
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered.
The last thing the world needed was Adam Barrow psychoanalyzing people’s behavior.
“I’m not five years old, Adam, pulling on her pigtails at the playground. It’s not…”
I wrinkled my nose, my brow dipping low as I struggled to put my thoughts in words.
“Be honest with me, Blake. Cards on the table.”
I cursed myself, specifically at age five, for telling him I’d never lie if he said that during a game of Uno.
Reaching down, I bought myself time as I tied my shoelace. “Yes. Of course, Addie is…pretty, or whatever.”
I used his words to avoid the ones I wanted to say—that calling Addie pretty was an insult to her, that she stood out even when she tried to blend in, and that I’d seen her as something precious, worth cherishing and protecting, more deserving of love than anything in the world for much longer than I’d been able to admit to myself.
Unable to say all that, I said the words that always followed those thoughts of her.
“You’re my best friend, Adam, and she’s your twin sister. I practically grew up at your house. You guys are…family to me.”
Adam nodded. “Increased exposure to a stimulus increases perceptual fluency, which in turn, increases positive effect.”
“What?”
He clarified. “Perceptual fluency is the ease with which a stimulus can be processed. It’s the mere-exposure effect.”
“Oh, is that all?”
He shrugged. “I’m just saying it’s normal to develop a preference for something simply because you’re familiar with it. In this case, Addie.”
“I thought the saying was familiarity breeds contempt?”
Adam frowned. “Our textbook hasn’t covered that theory.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, just as Addie walked up to join us. Her arrival saved me from going in circles with Adam. At least, verbally.
