I resumed my workout, staying focused on the movement of my body and legs, and ignoring the unease niggling at the back of my brain.
She seemed fine when she walked up to us, but maybe she’d gotten bad news and needed to run. Surely, it couldn’t be that bad, even if she’d been in enough of a rush to pull up only Adam’s name in her emergency contacts rather than our group chat.
Maybe Addie had heard from her loser boyfriend. Or worse, maybe it’d been a booty call.
But that thought still brought relief. It made sense. And I reassured myself again that she was fine.
I didn’t give it a second thought after that.
Later, I’d wish that I had.
Because as scarce as I thought she’d been before, I’d barely see or speak to her for the next two months.
11
ADDIE
TWO MONTHS LATER, MARCH 2018, AGE 18
“Are you into my sister?”
I twisted the napkin in my fingers, waiting for Adam to show up for our weekly dinner with his question to Blake still in my head. It had been two months since that day at the stadium, when Blake’s response echoed back to me inside the concourse.
For the most part, I’d put it out of my head.
But every Sunday, like clockwork, it tolled again.
With a shaky breath, I set my napkin down before I tore it to shreds, and I picked up my water, taking a sip. My phone lit up with a notification from Dad.
I read the message: “How’s it hanging, kid?”
Then I clicked the button on the side to turn the screen off and flipped the phone face down on the table.
“You’ve got this, kid.”
I closed my eyes, releasing an exasperated when my phone buzzed again and checking it quickly.
Even though he knew where I was every Sunday, Finn worried if I didn’t respond right away. He didn’t text to check on me during Sunday dinner often, but I didn’t want to miss it if the message was from him.
Laughing softly at the meme he’d sent me, I typed out a quick response, letting him know Adam had just arrived.
He hadn’t, but he was supposed to be here any second, and I needed a minute to gather my thoughts. Finn replied quickly, asking if Blake was joining us.
My fingers trembled as I typed back, “No.”
When a heart came back in response, I put my phone away and searched through the glass doors for Adam. I’d grabbed our usual table at Grayson’s Bar, a chill bistro away from the bars on campus.
As it had been every Sunday since January, I spent the minutes before Adam arrived in a state of anxiety.
Blake hadn’t shown up once, but I still wondered if he would each time.
Hoped, maybe. Even though I’d put those dreams behind me. Because two months was the longest we’d ever gone without seeing each other, and I missed him.
Even if I had no right to do that, either.
It had been my decision.
Two months of his absence had been entirely self-inflicted.
