“I wasn’t trying to survive. I decided to end them all with me. Pulling in so much magic that I started to tear into pieces. I was no longer me. I was something else…”I brush my hand down my face.“Something stopped me. I don’t know what, but it didn’t feel like the gods, even if these markings appeared right after.”
“And the scar?”She scans my face.“Is that how you got it?”
“Part of me was still split open when they put me in obsidian shackles, and it never healed properly. I thought Malachi was going to end it there, but it’s like something changed his mind. He put me in the prison instead. And now this scar and these marks are nothing but a reminder that I failed them all. I won’t do it again.”
Chapter 40
Elorie
Every timeI think I’ve figured out Wilder, I’m faced with another side to him. He’s the current, dragging me deeper into the unforgiving sea.
He towers over me, and there’s no denying he’s going to destroy this realm, but deep inside, there’s a part of me that understands. There are no winners in this war. There is no hope. Death will come to both sides eventually; it’s simply which side will face it sooner.
“I don’t need sympathy, Elorie,” Wilder says, leaning against the ledge.
“This isn’t sympathy. I’m just surprised you told me what happened.”
“You asked.”
“You never answer me honestly.”
“Not true. I always answer you honestly. You just don’t always hear what I’m saying.”
Fae and their riddles.
I roll my shoulders back, glancing into the gathering. Greer and Callum are nowhere to be seen, and the smoke of haelmarrowis a thick fog hanging in the air. My cheeks warm and my skin prickles as I brush my hands over my bare arms.
“It’s the drugs. Haelmarrow heightens your senses. It can confuse how you feel.” Wilder’s throat bobs as I breathe deeply, and my hard nipples peak against the thin fabric of my dress.
“Is it confusing you?” I ask when his gold eyes meet mine.
We’re standing so close I could lift on my toes and kiss him. He could wrap me in his arms like he did in my vision in the mirror of Echme. We could sink into the heat brewing and watch this realm fall to pieces. It shouldn’t sound so enticing, but as I breathe in his rain-kissed scent, all I want is to be reckless for a moment.
My responsibilities are too heavy to bear lately. I have no choice—not really.
I will pick Lyrichia because I have to. Because Iwantto save my people. When it comes to the Rite, I will do what needs to be done.
But tonight—just for tonight, could I choose him?
Could I dive down this thread and figure out why I’m drawn to Wilder, regardless of what he’s done?
“You should go to bed, Elorie. Tomorrow, you have a long day of training with the others.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, and with the haelmarrow shredding my restraint, I wonder how much of what I just thought he heard.
“What if I don’t want to go to bed?” I’m tiptoeing over a thin line. So close to shattering it entirely.
“The haelmarrow is affecting you. By the time you get to your room, your head will be clear again.” Wilder takes a step back, and that small shift is visceral. His rejection is a lance to the chest.
My cheeks burn as I stare up at him, then I quickly turn, refusing to let him see my embarrassment, even if he might sense it. I cut through the room, slipping between people, feeling Wilder on my heels the entire time. Even when we reach the hallway, hecontinues to follow me. Not because he wants me, but because he needs me safe if he’s going to act out his evil plan.
My fingers ball into a fist as he walks me to my room, and I fight hard to steady my breathing.
“I’m safe now,” I snap when we reach my room.
He’s at my side, but I refuse to look up at him.
“Elorie—”
“Goodnight.” I slip inside and close the door, pressing my back to it.
