“You look what?”
Like a fucking faggot.
I drop my head, staring at the floor, scratching my eyebrow.Get me out of here. Please, for the love of everything. Get me the fuck out of here!
“Gay,” I mumble.
He snorts. “What do you mean you lookgay?”
“Like… gay.”
“Dude, are you high or something? What are you talking about?” He shakes his head. “You mean like feminine?”
I shrug, because I really don’t know. I don’t know what’s wrong with these pants, I just know that they are wrong. At least on me. Because they make melook gay.
Like afag in girl clothes.
A disgusting fucking faggot.
He roams his eyes over me. “I mean, do you think I look feminine? ‘Cause I’ve got like ten pair of these,” he says, gesturing at his own black jeans. “And those are basically the same.”
“No,” I frown. And they’re not the same. Mine are tighter.
“Then…” He scratches behind his ear. “I don’t get it. I’m sorry.”
“I usually don’t dress like this.”
“I know,” he shrugs. “But I don’t see the problem. I think they look nice.”
I turn around, glancing at myself in the mirror. My heart’s trying to jump out of my chest. He walks up behind me, smelling like me and him, and I’ve never felt more naked as he sizes me up. It feels like he inspects every thread, counting them.
“This is not me,” I say, voice low.
He meets my eyes in the reflection.
“I think you look like you,” he says, before a smile takes over his face. “And look at this ass.” He glances down and puts his hands on my cheeks.
I snort. I’m feeling all sort of things, and I can’t place any of these emotions.
“You usually hide this,” he says, stroking his hands up and down my ass. “You shouldn’t.”
“No?” My voice is barely there, I feel pathetic. Like I’m looking for approval and I guess I am.
Kaden rests his chin on my shoulder, looking at me in the mirror, hands still on my ass.
“You look hot, Seth. But if you don’t wanna wear them, then don’t. I’d rather look at your ass without clothes anyway.” He winks at me and my stomach flutter.
“You don’t think…” I trail off, feeling embarrassed for many reasons.
“What?”
I shake my head. “I’m just… I’m too skinny.” I can’t even meet his eyes in the mirror. Hating this version of me. My cheeks are burning and my throat’s dry.
He wraps his arms around me. “Why don’t you come to the gym with me some time?” I don’t answer that before he adds, “That doesn’t mean I agree with you, Seth, but it doesn’t matter what I think. If you don’t feel good about yourself, then that’s something we can work on.”
I swallow and meet his eyes in the mirror. I feel so fucking small and vulnerable right now, it makes me sick. But he doesn’t look at me that way.
“Okay,” I nod.
