“Uh, our number’s on our website, but I can totally write it down for you, if you want?”
Seth pulls out a sketchpad, ripping off a piece of paper, and scribbles our phone number on it before handing it over to Jude who’s pressing his lips together, nodding.
“Great! That’s great!” He waves the note, biting his lips together. “Thanks! I’ll give you a call.”
He turns to leave at the same time as my customer comes back in. I dart my eyes between Seth and Jude’s back.
“Was that weird?” Seth asks, frowning.
I drag a finger across my lips, nodding. “Yep! But mostly because you didn’t realize he was asking for your number, not ours.”
61
Seth
“Ifeellikewehaven’t talked in forever,” Lou says.
It’s Saturday night, and Kaden’s with his band. He’s been doing that weekly now and I think it’s been good for him. The more he goes out, the more relaxed he is and while I miss him, I also use his night out to call Lou so we can chat in private. I haven’t spoken to her since I had my personal crisis a few days ago.
“I know. I’m sorry. It’s been a weird couple of days.”
“Why? Did something happen?” She puts the phone in front of her, curling up on her couch, and I do the same. I cross my legs and snuggle up in my oversized hoodie.
“I told Kaden. About… Everything. About high school, and everything.”
Her eyes grow wide. “You did?”
“Fuck, Lou, I had a complete meltdown.” I put my head in my hands. “I yelled at him, and…” I shake my head, looking up at her. “So fucking embarrassing.”
“It’s not embarrassing, Seth. You did nothing wrong.”
“No, I know. I mean…” I sigh. “The way I yelled at him, and fucking broke down in front of him. I hate that.”
She nods, biting the corner of her mouth.
“So, what did he say?”
I shrug, taking a deep breath. “He said that nothing’s changed. That I’m still me, and…” I wrap my arms around myself, and swallow as my vision turns blurry. “He was saying all the right things, you know, but…” I chew my cheek, eyes glued to the floor.
“But what?”
I drop my head back, gaze in the ceiling, trying to blink away the tears but then my bottom lip starts quivering.
“Seth?” Lou says, her voice low, and I swallow again before I look at her, and shrug.
“I’m in love with him, Lou.”
And this doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone, least of all me, but it’s the first time I’ve said it out loud. I’ve cloaked it as a harmless crush. As something small and fleeing.
But it’s not.
I’m full on, head over heels, irrevocably in love with Kaden to the point where he consumes my every waking thought.
I’m so deep down that every song I hear seems to be about him.
Every poem ever written is about him.
Every word in the English language only exists to describe him.
