“Are you… Are you sleeping with someone else? I mean—”
“What?” he snorts. “Dude, are you high?”
“But why—”
“First off, when would I have time to sleep with someone else? I’m with you all the time.”
Except when he’s with his band. Or at his mom’s. If he’s even there at all.
“I just… We never discussed that. Like—”
“Yeah, no, but I kinda took that for granted.” He frowns. “Why would we be doing this if there was an alternative?”
Oh, wow. Why don’t you just kill me dead already? Shoot me in the actual face, why don’t you?
He must see something on my face because he shakes his head, and drops his gaze to the floor. “Fuck, Seth! I’m sorry. That came out wrong. I didn’t—”
“No. No, I get it. That’s… That’s what this is. Right?” I cross my arms. “Just a means to an end. And we’d never do this unless it wasn’t for COVID, so.” I shrug, pressing my lips together.
He drags a hand down his face, sighing. “I didn’t mean it like that, Seth.”
“It’s fine, dude. We’re bros before hoes, right?” I pat him firmly on his shoulder as I slip past him, and walk into the bathroom.
I brush my teeth, just to do something, and then he appears in the doorway, leaning against the frame. He bites the corner of his mouth, pants still undone from before and it feels like a mean joke.
Fuck you, cosmos! Yeah, I forgot my place for a hot minute, but thank you very fucking much for the reminder!
He eventually walks in and brushes his teeth while I wash my face, pretending he’s not there as I apply the moisturizer. Then I walk out into my bedroom. I undress and get under the duvet before he comes in.
It’s quiet in the room, save for the slight rustle of his clothes being removed, and then the mattress dips as he gets in. It’s not even ten p.m., and we’re already in bed.
“Seth?”
“Yeah?” I don’t turn to look at him, gluing my eyes to the ceiling instead.
“I didn’t mean it like that—”
“It’s fine, Kaden.” I shake my head. “I know what you meant. But like, just so we’re on the same page, if we start sleeping with other people too, I think it’s fair to let the other one know, yeah?”
“I’m not sleeping with other people. I went to the clinic to get tested ‘cause I…”
I turn to glance at him, and he’s dragging a hand down his chin, and licks his bottom lip.
“I didn’t get tested after Tara, ‘cause I trusted her. And hospitals are fucking scary with all the sick people and… I just wanted to get tested now ‘cause I don’t wanna risk anything.”
I frown. “But we’re using condoms, so?”
“Yeah, but if we didn’t,” he says, turning to face me. “Then I’d like to know I’m clear. And I know you said you got tested after that Adam guy, and that you’re on PrEP, and all, so.” He shrugs. “I wanna be safe.”
I turn to my side, fully facing him. “What do you mean, if we didn’t?”
“I mean,” he says, throwing his hands out. “If we didn’t wanna use condoms anymore.”
“You don’t want that?”
“Do you?” he asks, searching my eyes.
I squint at him. “I asked you first.”
