“What?” I mumble.
He lightly shrugs one shoulder all casual, hovering his mouth over mine. “I like kissing you.”
And what does one say to that?
Thanks?
I love kissing you too, and if I could, I’d never stop?
Marry me?
“I like kissing you, too,” I mumble before my face cracks into a grin. And when he pulls back, he mirrors my smile with one of his own as he rubs a fist over his chest before he takes a step back. We continue with the dinner making, and my cheeks start hurting with the absolute ridiculous smile I can’t shake.
But how can I? This is some domestic shit we’re doing and I live for it. Truly. It’s all I ever wanted, and my pretending Kaden is actually mine in these moments isn’t hurting anyone but me.
After dinner, we plant ourselves on my couch. Kaden picks up his guitar, absently plucking the strings while I flip through the latest issue ofVogue.
“Can I ask you something?” Kaden says. “About high school?”
I glance at him behind the magazine. “What?”
“Do your parents know?”
“Yeah.” I take a deep breath and place the magazine on my stomach. “I didn’t tell them until after graduation, though. I mean, I think they suspected something was wrong, but I didn’t tell them anything until after.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “Maybe ‘cause I know my mom and I knew how she’d react.”
“And how did she react?” he asks, turning to face me.
I meet his eyes. “Like it broke her heart.” And that fucking broke my heart, too.
Kaden puts the guitar down on the floor, grabs the magazine from me and puts it on the table before he climbs on top of me. His hands slide in under my hoodie, and he rests his chin on them.
“I think she felt that they’d done something wrong,” I say, pushing my hands through his hair. “Since I didn’t tell them. I’ve always told them everything else. Like, telling them I’m gay was never a big deal, I knew they’d be supportive and all, but… I don’t know.” I shrug. “I guess I was a little embarrassed or something.”
Kaden opens his mouth as if to say something, but I cut him off.
“I know that now, but back then… It was too fresh.” I take a deep breath again and Kaden’s fingers are running circles on my chest.
“Anyway, Mom wanted to like sue the school and the parents and everything but…” I snort, shaking my head because itdoesn’t work like that and what difference would that have made? The damage was already done either way. “And then I told them I wanted to move to San Diego and then I did.”
“And now?” he asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Do you ever talk about it? With your parents?”
“Not really. Mom kinda uses humor and deflection to cope with it. And I don’t mind that ‘cause I don’t think there’s anything to say, really.” And maybe because I sometimes do that, too.
“No?” Kaden frowns. “Even though you changed everything about yourself? Didn’t they notice that?”
“Yeah, of course they did, but I think… I guess that was my coping with it and they let me.” Yeah, there were some looks and unspoken questions when I suddenly changed everything, but I don’t think either of us wanted to acknowledge it. I know I didn’t.
Kaden searches my eyes for a second. “What about your dad?”
“He was more lowkey. Like, when Mom tried to set the whole world on fire, he was running after her with a fire extinguisher.” I chuckle, and Kaden’s lips twitch. “He told me that none of it was my fault, that they love me and that I’m perfect the way I am and…” I shake my head, blowing out a breath.
