“Why have you never had a boyfriend?” he asks.
“What?”
“Is it that you’re picky?”
I shake my head, frowning, which earns me a chuckle from him.
“’Cause I feel like… There’d be guys waiting in line to be with you.” Is he even aware of what he’s saying right now?
“Wow,” I clear my throat. “Nice pedestal you’re putting me on.”
He laughs. “I don’t have to put you on a pedestal, I know you. And stop selling yourself short, asshole. You’re a catch.”
“A catch?” I snort a laugh. “I think we need to get outta here, you’re starting to sound like my mom.” I, too, sound like my mom. Deflecting with humor. Classic.
He whacks my head lightly. “Shut up! Any guy would be lucky to have you.” And there he goes again. But it’s just words to him, while it’s everything to me.
“Any guy?” I force my voice to sound steady.
“Yeah.”Then fucking have me, already!
I dart my eyes between his. He’s stunning. He’s so goddamn beautiful, and I want him. I want him to be mine.
I crave him so much, I feel it in my bone marrow. And it aches.
“I don’t let people in,” I say, clearing my throat again. “You kinda have to do that with a boyfriend.”
He nods, knowing full well exactly what I’m talking about because he knows. I lethimin.
He pulls me back to his lips, and kisses me before he starts smiling. Pulling back a little, so we’re only a hairbreadth away, I can feel his lips move against mine when he starts singing in a low voice.
“I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I’m meant to be.” “This is Me” fromThe Greatest Showman. And how is it that one person can break your heart and put it back together at the same time?
“I’m not scared to be seen,” he continues, still smiling. “I make no apologies, this is me.” His voice is barely above a whisper as he lightly taps a finger against my temple, and then he kisses me again.
My vision turns blurry, so I close my eyes and kiss him back, while my mind is running a mile a minute.
Why the fuck did life put me through hell, only to lead me here, to this, to Kaden, when I can’t have him? When he can never fully be mine?
I’d do fucking anything to make him mine. I’d do anything for him. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love him. And it consumes me in a way that makes it hard to breathe.
He takes my fucking breath away, and if it was my last one, then I’d gladly give it to him.
He already owns every single piece of me anyway.
74
Kaden
Now playing: “Mine” by Sleep Token
It’sourlastdayhere, we’re going home tomorrow. And as much as I can’t wait to be rid of this animal-crazed cabin, I’m going to miss the snow and the fresh air. And it’s been nice being out of the city for a while.
We’re still half asleep when we shuffle into the bathroom, only dressed in our boxer briefs. My hair’s a mess and Seth’s got pillow creases on his back. He’s leaning back on the bathroom counter, his eyes wandering all over me.
“What?” I ask around a mouthful of toothpaste.
He moves the toothbrush to his one cheek, speaking around it.
