“That old guy with the moustache? Your neighbor?”
He snorts a laugh. “He’s not old. He’s like… forty. And he hasn’t stalked me. He’s not a creep. I don’t think,” he adds, frowning a little.
“Have you let him into your pants or not?” Iggy prods.
“Uh… Sort of?” Seth says.
“Sort of?”
He takes a breath, leaning back and spreads his legs wide. “You know how he’s been kind of—”
“Stalking you? Yes, we know.”
Seth clicks his tongue. “Whatever. So, he came over and I gave him head, and…” He trails off as he scratches his nose. “Then he left.”
“What do you mean? He just left?” I say around a bite.
“He patted my cheek, thanked me,thenleft.”
“He thanked you?” Iggy says as she stops mid-movement.
“That’s fucked up,” I say, shaking my head.
“I mean, my services are excellent.” Seth shrugs.
“What a piece of shit!” Iggy says, shaking her head again before she picks out a piece of mango from her taco. “Does anyone want this?”
I roll my eyes, clicking my tongue. “Why don’t you just order without if you don’t like it?”
“I like the taste, not the texture.”
Seth and I share another look.
“Also,” she continues. “What’s with the moustache?”
“What?”
“Your neighbor,” she says, looking at Seth. “Tell him he needs to shave it off. No, wait, write him a note, don’t talk to him.”
Seth chuckles around another bite.
“And who the hell does he think he is? Magnum PI? Henry Cavill?” she scoffs. “Dead serious,hadhe been Henry Cavill, he wouldn’t have left you hanging. He would’ve been all over that thang.” She waves at Seth.
“Aw, that’s so sweet that you think I could have a chance with Henry Cavill,” Seth says, a hand over his chest.
“Honestly, though,” Iggy continues, ignoring him. “I thought gay men were like a different breed. Like, sure, I basically expect that from straight men—” She shoots me a look out of the corner of her eye, and I frown back at her. “Can’t tell you how often I’d had to finish myself off.” She raises her brows, licking sauce off her finger. “But a gay man?”
“Well, apparently, he’s not gay, so…” Seth says, crumbling the wrapping paper into a small ball.
Iggy scoffs. “Someone needs to tell these guys that getting a blowjob from another dude is pretty gay.”
“I think they think they can’t catch it if they’re only on the receiving end,” Seth snickers.
I snort, and am just about to take another bite when Iggy whacks my arm again.
“Why are you so selfish?” she asks.
I look down at the taco now located on the floor and the sauce all over my Vans. I close my eyes for a second before I turn to face her.
