I sigh, and he looks at me, still frowning.
“You want out? Is that it?”
I raise my brows.
“I feel…” He shifts on his feet. “It’s like you’re trying to push me together with Tara because you want out and you don’t know how to tell me or—”
“What?” I frown. But yes, that’s exactly it. Because then I don’t have to make this impossible decision. And yeah, I’m both an asshole and a coward. It’s a lovely combination.
“Do you want out?” he asks again.
“Do you?”
He tilts his head. “I asked you first.”
I sigh. This is it. I can do it. I can tell him yes, I want out, even if it’s not true.
“No.” Or I can keep pretending I can do this until I convince myself.
“Okay, then.” He turns to unlock the door, but I don’t move. “You coming?”
I glance down the street, and back to him again. He drops his head forward and then walks up to me.
“What?”
I shrug. “I just don’t wanna like, stand in your way or whatever.”
He shakes his head. “Stand in my way?”
“Yeah, like, if you wanted to start dating again or—”
“Yeah, okay, but I don’t, so?”
“But if you—”
“Okay, you know what?” he says, dragging a hand down his face. “If I wanna start dating again, I’ll tell you. Okay? Now, will you get the fuck inside?” He gestures at the door.
I swallow and walk past him inside. He locks the door behind us, drops the bag of subs and beer on the floor, and grabs my arm.
“Hey,” he says. “That goes for you too, you know.”
“What?”
“If you wanna get back out there, you tell me.”
“Yeah,” I say, kicking off my shoes.
“And if you think we can’t survive this, like you and me, for any reason, then tell me and we’ll stop. I like what we do, but I’m not losing my best friend over it, okay?”
I nod.
“Promise?”
I force a chuckle. “Cross my heart.”
42
Seth
