She straightened even taller in her seat. “Shall I be starting soon, then?”
“I am afraid not,” Ezra replied, too weary to be gentle about it. “Thank you for your time. Goodbye.”
The woman let out an audible sniff as she departed. If that was all it took to soothe her wounded pride, he would let her have it, and gladly. All he wanted was for her to leave.
And possibly a very large glass of scotch.
The problem, he knew, was that nobody would ever possibly compare to Letitia. Oh, all the women he’d interviewed had been qualified. They all had references. Some of them had questionable approaches to child-rearing, it was true, but they were all accomplished professionals.
And yet none of them had even come close to Letty. How could they? Iris adored her and even he…
Ezra rubbed the back of his neck. He only had a few more days before she would leave, and he could scarcely bear to think of it.
For Iris’ sake, of course. Obviously. Just Iris.
Ezra had worked himself into a proper lather by the time he wandered down to dinner, where—ohof bloody course—he was immediately faced by Letitia and Iris giggling, their heads bent together over a scrap of foolscap.
For a moment, he just watched them and let his chest ache with the sight.
All too soon, Iris spotted him.
“Uncle Ezra,” she said, her eyes going bright in a way that made his chest ache in a completely different fashion. “Miss Knightley has taught me to writemy name!”
Ezra glanced at Letty, who nodded her confirmation. He bent over the paper and saw it, right there, in slightly wobbly letters.IRIS.
“That’s marvelous, sweetheart,” he said, ruffling the girl’s dark hair as she beamed up at him, pride practically pouring out of her. “But what is this?”
He pointed to a… lump? Frankly, he didn’t know what to call the thing on the side of the paper.
Iris and Letitia dissolved into giggles again.
“That was my attempt at drawing an iris,” Letitia admitted, scrunching her nose adorably at her own lack of artistic accomplishment. “I am afraid I never had much in the way of a drawing education, and I am not very good. At all, really.”
“I can see a petal here… maybe,” Ezra ventured, trying to be kind.
“That was the stem,” she replied primly, while Iris clapped both hands over her mouth, as if she could shove the laughter back in by force. Letitia made a great show of being offended, then winked at the little girl to show that she wasn’t serious, which set Iris off on another great burst of laughter.
Ezra sat at his spot at the head of the table. It was agony, really, how easily he could see how things could be. If Letitia only stayed, she could help Iris continue to blossom and grow. There would be laughter, and Iris would thrive, and Letty would smile like she was now, and Ezra would?—
He would what? His good humor vanished in a flash, replaced by a sharp bolt of self-directed anger. Would he take Letitia as his mistress? No, such a thing would dishonor her, and hewouldhave to marry eventually, and what would he do then? Keeping her in his employ while he brought his wife into the house would be hideous of him, and sending her away because he married was just as wretched. No, the only choice was to never allow something to start between them… and he knew, deep down, that if she stayed, he would never be able to resist her.
So maybe she was right. Maybe leaving was the right option.
But it didn’tfeelright.
The staff began bringing out the first course of the meal, and Letitia quickly cleared away the paper and writing implements, her voice low and gentle as she coached Iris on proper table manners. Ezra was so absorbed in his own thoughts that he didn’t even notice Hermes at Iris’ feet until the dog, in a flash that was almost too quick to register, poked her head above the edge of the table, used her paws to hoist herself up a little, and snatched at a leg of roast chicken, knocking an entire platter of peas in butter onto the floor.
It was so sudden that, for a moment, no one made a sound, not even a surprise exclamation. Then Iris quietly said, “Oh, dear. That was naughty.”
Ezra knew he should not laugh. He was supposed to set a good example, after all, and laughing at these sorts of antics wasnota good example. Still, he had to press his knee against the side of his chair until it hurt in order to keep himself from showing his mirth. From the way that Letty was staring at the wall like it was the most fascinating thing she’d ever seen, she was having a similar experience.
“Iris,” he said, when he felt that he could control his voice properly. “We shall need to put Hermes outside when we are having supper.”
Iris’ eyes got big and bright. Her chin quivered, though she was clearly fighting it.
“But I need her,” she said, shrinking in on herself as if the admission had taken every ounce of her courage, including what was required to sit upright.
Ezra might have been able to remain resolute, if not for the way that Iris ducked her head as she swiped at her eyes with one clumsy arm, as if she did not wish to be seen crying.
