He frowned. “I mean . . . I want that shit too. You see how long I been after you without having it? I ain’t even slept with nobody since I met you. That’s a long fucking time. A nigga need to start making videos and uploading them on XNXX or Pornhub or some shit like that.”
I frowned. “What kind of videos if you ain’t had sex?”
“Of me jacking off. Shit, I got all kinds of toys to keep the shit interesting.”
I rolled my eyes as he grabbed my hand. “What do you want me to say, Seven?”
“That you’ll give me another chance. I mean . . . have I ever mistreated you? I know I just say whatever comes to mind, but have I ever said something that wasn’t real to you?”
I looked away as I thought about what he was asking me. When he told me to pop my titty out my brother’s mouth, I could’ve knocked the fuck out of him. I did baby my brother. I always had. When we found out he was on the spectrum, it onlygot worse. He got away with murder. We tried to teach him to be self-sufficient, but he was so used to us doing things for him, it made it hard. He did get a job though. He paid his cell phone bill, his car note, and half the bills here, but the fact remained that he lived here with me instead of on his own. So, when Seven said what he said, I became extremely defensive. My lil brother was my baby, and if I chose to baby him, that was my business.
“No. But you don’t know how to say shit. There’s a way to say things, so they don’t sound so offensive.”
“Well, why you got so defensive about your brother if what I said was real?”
“Because it’s hard for me to let go. He’s autistic and just doesn’t quite understand some things.”
“I think he does. He knows that you will do it for him, so he will never do it for himself. That ain’t autistic behavior. That’s human behavior. Now, if he doesn’t eat certain things or only eats a few things, then that could possibly be autistic behavior. I can understand you being sensitive about him though. My cousin married a woman with down syndrome. You met Angel. Her parents were extremely protective of her, but it was only hindering her. She’s so happy now.”
“Seven, if you talked like you had sense all the time, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation. It seems you only talk this way when you’re trying to convince me to do something. It feels like you’re being manipulative.”
He frowned. “Why would I need to be manipulative? I be fighting women off with a stick, girl. I ain’t gotta manipulate shit. I care about you. I wanna be with you. That’s it. I wouldn’t be wasting this much time if that was all it was. Tell me I ain’t wasting my time.”
“I can’t say that with all certainty.”
He rolled his eyes. “A’ight, man. Well, I guess we just gon’ be playing fucking cat and mouse then. I was trying to be nice andunderstanding. You mine. You know that shit. When you done playing and being difficult, then we can move on as a couple. Until then, I’m just gon’ be a thorn in your fucking flesh. I get what the fuck I want, Iesha. I want you, girl.”
“Please leave. I knew this conversation wouldn’t get us anywhere.”
“Because you talking in fucking circles. I can see in your eyes that you want me. If you let me knock the dust off that pussy, you’ll calm down. That’s your fucking problem. You need some dick in your life.”
“Seven . . . get the hell outta my place.”
He stood and shook his head, then walked to the door and swung it open. That nigga walked out and left the door open. He knew just how to get under my damn skin. For some reason, I couldn’t make myself leave his ass in my dust. I stood and went and slammed the door shut, then locked up.
As I made my way back to the room to take a shower, I couldn’t help but think about how I would have to fall out of love with him. It was going to be tough, but I had to let go. Somehow, I’d have to convince him to let go too. He hadn’t even gotten the goodies, and he was clowning hard. If I gave it to him, he would be trying to run every aspect of my life.No thank you.
At this rate, I would never get married and have kids. I was my parents’ oldest child, and besides my youngest brother, I was the only one who didn’t have kids. I was almost twenty-nine, nearly an entire five years older than Seven. Both my sisters had kids, but they always told me not to rush. They’d both been married and divorced, because niggas ain’t shit. Tas’zhane said some of those muthafuckas should’ve just gotten swallowed.
Seven had so much going for him that I loved. Once people got past his dad’s and siblings’ rough exteriors, they could see that they were a loving family. His mom and Maui were sweet from the beginning. His cousins and aunts were amazing. Theman had two degrees in business management and marketing. He didn’t seem country from the outside, but on the inside, he was all cowboy. He mowed hay fields at times, took care of the cattle with his dad, and sometimes handled the grass and rice farms. He even worked in the business office at times.
He loved his family. I saw that firsthand when he was after Mythic. He hated that he was with Maui. Mythic was so misunderstood. He was a good guy, but he’d gotten caught up in that fast life. Had it not been for that, I probably would have given him a chance to date me. After a couple of weeks of him flirting, we established a friendship. Maui was the topic of most of our conversations. It was at that moment that I knew we weren’t meant to be together anyway.
Once I was out of the shower, I dried off, then made my way back inside my room, where my phone was ringing. When I saw Tas’zhane’s number, I answered.
“Hey, sis.”
“Hey. You sound dry. You okay?”
“Yeah. What’s up?”
“Can you pick up the kids Monday from daycare? Mama just told me that she has to work the middle shift next week and won’t get off until seven. I don’t get off until seven Monday also. I get off at five the rest of the week, so I’ll be able to get them.”
My mama was a nurse, and her shift could change without warning. Baptist Hospital was a thorn in her flesh. It was a thorn in mine too, because it seemed it happened at the most inopportune times. It always happened when I had stuff to get done. I would have to go into the office early. Hopefully, Seven’s ass would be out of pocket. Most likely, he wouldn’t be since he knew I was going to be there. Just my luck, he would choose to work in the office on Monday.
“Okay. I’ll get them.”
“You sure you okay?”
