A bitter taste settled on my tongue.
“When the time comes for you to marry, you will do what you must.” I would disappear somewhere else—far from the high court, maybe even far from Lythira.
He wouldn’t hear from me again, because even with glimmers of his love, it would never be enough.
I knew our time would be limited, but I chose to live in this fantasy.
“You deserve a home—a place where you’re safe and happy.”
“Don’t.” I pulled from his grasp.
“Be honest with me, because I can’t stop wondering how you really feel—what you truly want.” Lioran stepped closer, his hand reaching for mine. “I need to hear it for myself. Thatyou don’t desire any of the things that being with me in secret would take from you—that you never wanted to be a wife, or have children of your own…” He inched closer. “You’d be hidden, living a life that you could never make your own.”
“Just stop.” I could barely speak, barely breathe.
I had never told him how much I wanted those things. Never shared the future I always envisioned.
“Tell me. I need to hear you say that you’re okay with that life. That you could exist only as my—” He flinched.
“I want all of that. I’ve always wanted all of that. Now I’m supposed to go watch you live that life with someone else. She will give you everything you truly want in a way I will never be permitted to.”
“No one else ever could.” The lines around his eyes hardened with my words.
“When you must marry, I will find someplace else to go.” He wrapped his arms around me as I collapsed into him.
“Where will you go?”
“I don’t know. I will figure something out.”
He saw Cora’s vision as a threat against me, but I held onto it still. It brought me hope that maybe my future would carry meaning that was bigger than the heart break.
He would never understand. As much as I feared the fate she described, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
“My heart would never recover.” His truth filled the void between us, gripping my heart harder.
“One day this will be nothing more than a beautiful memory.”
“I’ll live in it every day for the rest of my life,” he whispered in my ear. “If it’s too painful for you to stay…I understand.”
“If my heart has to break, I will let it break.” My voice cracked.
His finger slid over my lip—his head shook.
“I will be with you until I can’t any longer.”
I would live in our love for the days, months, or years that remained.
The musty scent of paper wafted in the air. Shelves as tall as the ceiling were lined with books bound in dozens of hues.
I found Fyn hovering over papers in the library. “Cora said I might find you here. I need to do something, and she doesn’t have time for training today. Is there anything I can help with?”
“Are you alright?” He asked.
“No.” My lips quivered.
He patted the bench beside him. “Want to talk about it?”
“We can never truly be together.”
