It had been weeks. No, it was even longer. I steadied myself, still glancing in the mirror as I counted the time that passed.
I hadn’t bled.
It couldn’t be—it wasn’t possible.
We had been careful, but maybe the dream we wished for, the one I thought would never be, existed inside of me.
“Your Highness, Juniper said you needed me.” Rowena peered in the doorway.
I looked out the window, still reeling in my discovery, too afraid to hope it was true. “I need you to confirm something for me.” My melodic voice faltered.
“What can I help you with?” Rowena asked.
“I think…I’m pregnant.” I finally exhaled. “I’ve been feeling so sick. I’m not sure if it’s from how I changed…or if there’s…life growing inside of me.”
She walked over to me. Her hand drifted over my abdomen. “Your child isstillperfectly healthy.” Her voice was a quiet hum that interrupted my rapid heartbeat.
“Still?”
“I sensed it with my magic when Prince Lioran brought you to me. You were so panicked, so exhausted. He was shaken too. You both needed time to accept the change that had already settled, before I could deliver the news.” Her head angled slightly. “I hope you understand. I would have come to you had I thought you needed to know sooner.”
“I understand.” I wouldn’t hold it against her. We weren’t ready to hear the truth then—couldn’t have truly embraced the news. “How far along do you think I am?”
Her eyes scanned mine. “At least a month, if not a little longer.”
“It’s not possible. We were careful.” I released an exhale. “I drank the vials. Lioran got them from your supplies.”
Rowena sat with what I said. “It should have worked. I don’t know of a single fae that’s had it fail.” She parted her locks from her face. “The main ingredient is a diluted toxin, that prevents life from taking hold.”
“It’s toxic? Did I hurt the baby?” I gasped.
“From everything I sense, the baby is very strong and healthy.” She took her hands in mine. “The main ingredient could have caused harm, but maybe something was wrong with the potion. Did it taste bitter?”
“It tasted sweet. I sensed flowers I knew, but one that was different, too.”
“Moonflower is bitter. You’d know it the instant it settled on your tongue.” Her eyebrows raised. “Maybe the herbalist didn’t mix it properly.” Her cheeks grew red. “I’m so sorry, Your Highness.”
“Did you say moonflower?” I recalled the white bloom I had never seen before I grew it in the palace garden. The one I tried to give to the queen, but she refused.
“Yes, it’s highly toxic if not properly diluted. We use gentle flowers sprinkled with healing magic to make it suitable for ingestion. You are familiar with it?” Her eyes narrowed on me.
“I made it grow, but I had never seen it before.”
“When you used your magic to create more oregano, you asked me to get you some first…”
“Yes, I have to experience it somehow to make it grow.” My hand rested on my stomach. “I’ve been drinking it the entire time.”
“And you never had cramping or discomfort after taking a vial?” she asked.
“No. I felt… completely fine.” I tried to make sense of it. Our child was healthy and strong when it shouldn’t have existed at all. “Rowena, could my magic have interfered with it?”
“It’s possible. I don’t think we could ever really know.”
I took in the news—let it sit—until I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.
We thought we were doing everything we could to control the future, but the stars had other plans.
She placed her hand on my shoulder. “It’s okay to grieve if this is not what you wanted.”
