I look down to see Leila rubbing her eyes and tipping to one side. Gathering her in my arms, I tuck her against my broad chest, loving the way she wraps a chubby arm around my neck and scratches at my tattoo that circles it. Pushing up to look at me, she gravely asks, “You got a boo-boo?”
“No, baby girl.” How to explain a tattoo to a toddler?
She pats my shoulder with her tiny hand, satisfied with my answer. Sluggishly, she brings her juice cup to her mouth, the high-pitched whine of air bubbles sounding with every gulping swallow. Over her head, I quietly murmur to Mercy, “Did she have a...you know?”
“Not yet,” she replies just as quietly. “It’s just about time, though. Good thing you didn’t say the word, because then she’d pop up and it’d take another fifteen minutes to get her settled back down.”
With the adults silently agreeing not to talk until the little demon in my arms falls asleep, I focus on Leila instead. I hadn’t held many kids or babies before. Not until her. But the softness of her damp curls mixing with her fresh baby scent from her bath tugs at me, compelling me to do something. There’s no doubt that women have biological clocks, but men do, too.
At least, I do.
And now, holding my niece in my arms as she drifts off to sleep, juice cup leaving a sticky mess on my neck before falling to the couch from limp fingers, I hear mine loud and clear.
“You’ll make such a wonderful dad, Connor.” Mercy watches us with knowing eyes. We connected in a special way at their wedding, Mercy and I did. She saw past my tough exterior and to the tender heart inside. To the part of me that wants to provide and care for a family. “Can you carry her upstairs to her bed or do you want me to take her?”
“I’ve got her.” Standing slowly, I cradle the precious toddler just a bit tighter and make my way to the stairs. Suddenly, her little body jolts, limbs briefly flailing in her sleep. It startles me, and I freeze in place until I feel her body go slack again.
The rest of the journey is made with no more scares, and soon I’m laying her in her little bed with rails on the side. Instinctively, she rolls onto her stomach and tucks her legs under her, sticking her tiny butt in the air as I bring her blanket up to cover her.
Biting back a laugh at the comical sight, I brush her brown curls away from her forehead and kiss the smooth apple of her cheek.
The more I think of it, the more sure I become.
This could be me.
This could be us, Rosanna.
Chapter four
Rosanna
Bendingdowntozipmy boots up, I pause to catch my breath. Hmm. These jeans are feeling a little tight. Must be Baby Bean making his or her presence known. A goofy grin spreads across my face before turning into a grimace as a wave of nausea barrels through me. God, this morning sickness attacks with a vengeance.
Morning sickness. Ha. Whoever called it that lied, because it’s been coming and going in spurts these past few days without regard to the time of day. Or night. I haven’t been sleeping well, but whether it’s because of Silas or being pregnant, I don’t know.
Swallowing down the excess saliva pooled underneath my tongue, I slide the zipper the rest of the way and stand cautiously to avoid getting lightheaded. As soon as I get his portion of the rent, I’m headed to my first doctor appointment.
Stupid rent. It doesn’t matter to the landlord that I’ve paid half of it, because,If it isn’t paid in full, then it’s not paid, is it?Jerk. I can see his point, though. But to charge late fees on a place that looks like this is insane! God, I can’t wait to get out of here. With or without Silas. Preferably without, because we’re not married, and we’re barely even lovers these past few months.
Except for that one time a few weeks ago that got me into this situation, but he was definitely no lover that night. Just a taker. And if he keeps spiraling downward like this, I’ve got more than just myself to worry about. “I need your half of the rent so we don’t get hit with a late fee again.”
Silas ignores me, sipping a beer and all caught up in watching decapitated zombie heads roll around on tv.
With a sigh, I close the gap between us and touch his shoulder. I don’t want to talk to him either, especially since he’s pissing me off with the way he’s acting about the baby, but I have to have the money today. “Did you hear me? I need the rent money.”
He shrugs my hand away.“I’ll pay it after work.”
Does he even have it, or did he spend it all already? “No, give it to me so I can make sure Frank gets it.”
“What? You don’t trust me?” Placing his beer on the table, he twists around to look at me with bloodshot hazel eyes.
“Do you really want to know what I think?” I shake my head. “You know what? Never mind. Just give me the money, please.”
Begrudgingly, he opens his wallet and pulls out enough to cover his half. “There.”
Relief hits me as I fold it over and stick it in my purse. “Thanks. Are you coming with me to the doctor?”
Muscles stiff as stone, he turns away, fingers playing with the neck of his beer. “No. You do this, you’re on your own. I told you how I feel about it.”
