“You really did. Even then, I think some part of you knew deep down that you could trust me.”
Maybe he’s right.
But this time when I reach between us and twist my pinkie with his, it’s because I know with my entire heart that I can.
CHAPTER 12
WARREN
“I’ve been eating!”Mara huffs. “You know I have because you’ve been constantly feeding me for the last week. Is this really necessary?”
“Of course it is.” If my tone is distracted, it’s because my hands are sliding from her ribs down to her hips. “The only way to tell if I’m doing enough is to feel for myself.” Honestly, I could kick myself for not realizing how thin she still was before last week. Especially when I’d found her in the rain and had to take her wet nightgown off, but she was all hunched over with her arms wrapped around herself. I’d averted my eyes to afford her privacy then, but… “I can’t be a gentleman anymore when it comes to your health and safety, wife.”
The first time she shyly asked me for blueberry jam instead of butter, I was tempted to give her my gun and let her use me as target practice. Because now those little looks I sometimes caught during breakfast made sense. I’m the one who’s supposed to take care of her, but I didn’t even pick up on something so small as her wanting jam instead of butter for her biscuits. Should have asked her each timewhat she wanted instead of taking for granted that what I gave her would have been her choice. I damn sure will from now on, though.
A feminine sigh of resignation, then, “Do I pass inspection today?” She’s wearing a light blue dress, one of the newly altered ones Momma dropped off along with some brand new winter attire yesterday. While the knobs of her spine are still prominent beneath my touch, I know a week of proper eating isn’t enough time to show a significant change.
But that’s why I’m going to keep checking every day. Maybe multiple times a day, because how else can I gentle my wife to my touch? Things changed between us that night of the storm. I swear I’ll remember holding her that first time for the rest of my life. Same with the first real smile she gave me. All soft and shylike when I whipped together a little cake for her birthday.
“For today. Until the next time.” I grin, admiring how the blue of her dress brings out her striking eyes. “You’re so cute when you frown like that. Makes me want to smooth this out right here where it scrunches up.” I tap the offending spot between her eyebrows and just above her nose. “With my lips.”
Almost immediately, warmth blooms across Mara’s cheeks as her stare dips down to my mouth. I don’t even know if she knows she’s doing it. There’s nothing in the world I want more than to wrap my arms around her and see how far down I could make her blush, but she’s not ready yet.
Interested, but not ready.
I can definitely work with interested.
I clear my throat. “Wanna go outside and let me show you around our place?”
Contemplation seeds as she glances out the window. “The workers are gone for the day?”
“Yep. It’ll be just us and probably Rosie.”
“Rosie?” Mara’s long, dark hair swishes as her head jerks towards me. “Who’s she?”
Aww, is that perhaps a hint of jealousy I detect in my little wife’s tone? Tucking my amusement away, I answer, “A meddlesome calf who slobbers a lot and likes apples and carrots. And she’s kinda cute when she’s not stalking you or bellowing for goodies.”
She softens. “Can…can we bring an apple for her?”
“Of course. And then maybe after that we can head over into Hope?—”
“No!”
Taken aback, I blink at her. I don’t know which of us is more surprised at her sharp tone. “You don’t want to go into town?” I gently ask. “Not even to get some things for you and Emmaline?” Keeping the both of them here in the house with me is all I want to do, but I need to introduce her in town eventually.
Mara abruptly steps backward, her thin arms wrapping protectively around her middle as abject misery covers her face. “No,” she almost growls. “I won’t go.”
“But why wouldn’t you want—?” Goddammit. I almost stagger at the weight of understanding that hits me. Momma always said I had a hard head, but this was just up and ignorant.
Of course Mara wouldn’t want to go into Hope’s Stand and risk rubbing elbows with a man who violated her. If she recognizes anyone, it more than likely won’t be because she made their acquaintance in passing, but because they violated her. Fuck. I clench my fists and breathe through my teeth to avoid punching the wall. It’djust scare her and tear away every bit of the trust she’s given me.
“I’m sorry, Mara.” I run a restless hand through my hair. “I wasn’t thinking. You don’t have to go if you’re not ready.”
Her shoulders fall in relief. “I don’t know if I’d even recognize anyone. Unless they were visiting other towns when I was there. I arrived here in Hope’s Stand only two days before…before you and I met. And it was just Crowley, Chance, and Joe who—at least here—so I…” One slim hand hides her throat as she clears it. “I just don’t want to be around any men. Except for you,” she adds on just a bit more softly. “I feel better knowing you’re here with me.”
Well damn.
“You and Emmaline will always be safe with me. Always.” My hand hovers beside her cheek, desperately needing to comfort her the only way I know how. My heart damn near swells right out of my chest when she leans into my palm and her lashes fall closed. I wish we could have met in better circumstances, but I’m so fucking thankful I was the one who found her. I dare to brush a kiss to her forehead. “Do you still want to walk around outside? I swear it’ll just be us.”
