“That so?” Warren murmurs, the heat of his breath warming my chin. “Maybe this’ll help.” Angling his head to one side, he captures my bottom lip and gently sucks.
I jerk away. Well, as far away as my head can go, which is only further into the pillow. “What are you doing?”
Playful brown eyes smile down at me. “Giving us something to talk about. Did it work?”
I lift trembling fingers to my mouth, the pulsing blood beneath them matching the quickening between my thighs. Barely two heartbeats of his lips to mine, and my body surges to life for his in a flood of awareness. “Maybe.”
“Just maybe?” If possible, his voice goes even deeper. “Guess I need to do better if the answer’s only a maybe.” This time when his head lowers, I’m ready for it—want it, even—despite the rigidity of my limbs.
But he bypasses my mouth and burrows into the crook of my neck, groaning deeply as he breathes me in. The scrape of his stubble to my tender skin and the sudden coolness as he inhales sends an icy burn of desire shooting into my fingers and toes. “Warren,” I gasp softly, blindly reaching for him to either drag him closer or push him away.
“Talk to me.” A ghost of a kiss to my jawline softens his demand. “I need your words.”
He needs my words. No one else has ever wanted me for more than what they could take from my body. I turn my head, a sudden onset of bittersweet tears stinging my eyes and nose as they threaten to break free. “I wish…” I can’t finish without my voice breaking. How does his kindness coax such raw emotions from me so easily? Why couldn’t he have found me before my life fell apart?
The big hand on my pillow moves to catch the sole tear that manages to escape. “It’s okay. Tell me what you wish for and I’ll give it to you.”
The crack in my heart splits further because I know he could never fulfill it. But I can’t hold it in because I want him to know how badly I want it to be true. “I…I wish you could have been the first man to touch me.” I cover my eyes, unable to bear the crushing thought of any disappointment on his face. “Because if it had been you, there would be no one else.”
No unwanted touches or cruel punishments.
Just the tender arms of my husband who would never have let anything like that happen to me.
“Look at me.” I shake my head at his quiet order, but hepersists, tugging ever so lightly at my wrist. “Mara, look at me, darlin’. Please.”
“I can’t. I don’t want to cry anymore, and if I look at you”—at his disappointment—“I know I will.”
“Oh, darlin’. You’ve spent too many years being strong all by yourself. Done a hell of a good job at it, too.” A note of sadness rings in his voice before it’s replaced with conviction. “But this is different. You’ve got me now, and if you need to cry your heart out, that’s what my shoulder’s for.”
Words. They’re only words, I tell myself. But those simple words are a soothing balm to my broken spirit. I drop my arm and tangle my fingers in the covers instead, still unable to look any higher than the hollow of his throat. “I’d get you all wet.”
“I wouldn’t mind. Although I’d much rather your tears than Little Bit spitting up on me. There we go,” he cajoles at my weak laugh. “There’s those pretty blues. Hold tight.”
I don’t know how he does it, but one minute we’re both on our sides, then the next, we’re upright with him leaning back against the headboard and me on his lap.
Astridehis lap with my hands splayed over his chest and a most unexpected throbbing in my core as my legs are forced to spread over his powerful thighs for balance. “Oh! Let me move so I?—”
Warren grips my hips and winks at me, grinning roguishly in the firelight. “Don’t go leaving on my account, wife. I put you right where I want you so you can listen real good.” Pinning me with his gaze, he grows serious. “Remember what you made me swear when I dragged the judge over to marry us?”
“Of course I do,” I whisper. That night is forever seared into my memory. The pain of Emmaline making her way into an unwelcoming world. The utter loneliness piercingmy soul when I pushed Warren—my only lifeline—away, and the spark of damning hope when he stormed back into the room, judge in tow.
“Tell me again.”
I trail my fingertips down his chest, empowered by the way his abs contract in time with his sharp inhale when I circle his belly button. “Only one man.”
“Damn right,” he says roughly, flexing his grip. “Just me. Neither of us can change the past. I can’t give you back your first time, but I can give you a first time with me. A first time for us.”
Bittersweet wonder swells like a lump in my throat. “What would you have done on our wedding night?”
“Hold tight and I’ll show you.” That’s my only warning before he tucks me close and rolls.
“What are you doing?” Even though there’s no chance of falling with his strong arms around me, I still cling to him as he carries me into the shadowy hallway, confident steps needing no light.
“Shh! Don’t wake the baby.” As if his exaggerated whisper wouldn’t do just that. “And I told you. I’m showing you how our wedding night would be.”
He doesn’t stop when he reaches the parlor. No, despite my protests, he takes me outside onto the snow-covered porch into the still, dark night. “Warren!” A shock of laughter spills from me as my toes scrunch from the bitterly cold air. “I don’t have any shoes!”
“Me neither.” Moonlight brightens his features as he smiles mischievously down at me. As if only just now realizing it himself, Warren shifts on his bare feet and hikes my shivering form up close enough to press his lips to my forehead. I can’t even find it in myself to be angry, because of course the man who would run naked outside in the snowwould have no qualms about a few seconds without shoes. “But I gotta carry you over the threshold like a proper groom.”
