Even though he can’t see me, I roll my eyes even through my discomfort. I didnotbellow.
“A baby! Oh, dear. Set the water to boil, Jolene.” The doctor’s wife has a commanding voice that belies her small stature, but something in it calms me just the slightest bit. “And grab some towels.”
“Yes, ma’am.” The housekeeper gathers her dress and hurries from the room with a pitying glance to me. I know good and well they’re all judging me right now. Not that I blame them, because who wouldn’t?
“Follow me, please.” Mrs. Smith briskly precedes us to the staircase.
“Sit tight, Abner.” Warren nods to the chair in the entryway as he follows the petite woman. “Can somebody take him to his parents at the fair? It’s a long story, but we were kinda in a hurry getting here.”
“Yes, of course. I’ll ask Beatrice to escort him.”
“And keep your fingers out of that clock.” Warren throws the words over his shoulder just before a discordant chime disturbs the air. Over that same broad shoulder, I see Abner guiltily snatch his hand back from the rocking pendulum before pulling out his pocketknife. Envy stabs at me as he picks at his nails. Such a shame it was taken from me.
Trying to minimize all points of contact is futile as Warren carries me upstairs. God knows how he or Mrs. Smith keep a straight face because I smell my own stench keenly now in the cooler temperature of the house.
“Gonna get you all taken care of, Ma—” He abruptly fumbles on a carpeted misstep, arms tightening around me as I hiss in surprise. “Sorry. Hit my head pretty good earlier.”
His head. The jaded part of me wants to tell him to drop me over the railing so I could hit my ownhead on the pine planks below. Hopefully breaking my neck. Out of all myoptions so far, that would be easiest because I wouldn’t have to initiate it.
Just give in and let it happen.
Close my eyes and wait for impact.
Open my eyes again in sweet paradise with just me and my baby. Even if there’s not a heaven, surely there’s an afterlife where the two of us can be together. If the Overstreets knew my thoughts right now, they’d likely beat more scripture into me.
Another contraction hits, stealing my breath for seven pulsating heartbeats. I wonder if my baby understands my thoughts and doesn’t like it.Sorry, baby. I’ll stop.
When the pain recedes, I open my eyes to a face much too close to mine. A face so near I can see the texture of the dark stubble running over his cheeks and jawline. “Is there anything I can do to make it better?” he asks with what sounds like concern.
“The room. Please,” I roughly add when he doesn’t move. I need out of this man’s arms immediately.
There’s something strange in the way he’s looking at me right now. Not outright lust like I’m used to seeing, but definitely something more than pity. Very peculiar. Then his expression clears. “Hang on. Almost there.”
Good, because he’s too much.
Too much man.
Too strong.
Too close.
Twenty strides has him approaching the bed just as Mrs. Smith pulls down the plush covers. “Just put her here, Warren. Mara, dear,” she directs to me, “do you have any family we can call on for you? Your mother, perhaps?” Her gaze flicks over my torn apparel and over to the man looming over me. “Or a husband?”
In the middle of arranging the pillows behind me, Warren stills for some unknown reason. “No,” I say over his back before weakly pushing his chest to get him away. “No one. Just...just me.” Me and this baby. Pulling up the covers, I allow myself one small moment to wallow in my loneliness.
Breathe, two, three, four.
Out, two, three, four.
And repeat.
While painful, the contractions haven’t lessened my ability to think.
Or to feel shame.
Shame because I’m so dirty and the doctor’s fine house is so clean. I don’t belong here. Lord knows I’ll taint these soft sheets just by laying on them. Something fuzzy brushes over my sweaty forehead. A kiss? A familiar pinch of fear darts through me when I see Warren’s mouth so close to me. Why hasn’t he moved back? Too close. “Get away.”
The demand isn’t as strong as I’d like for it to be. Not with the way the last syllable stretches out on a moan and fades into the air as I clutch at my belly and hiss through my teeth.
