I don’t dare tell him, either.
I hold her until my arms ache.
Until his eyes narrow in suspicion.
“That’s enough,” he commands. “Put the child down and come here.”
There’s no more stalling. My entire backside burns from where he stares into it as I carry a slumbering Emmaline back to the corner and settle her in beside a softly snoring Sullivan.
Soon, my darlings.Soon this will all be over.
“No more excuses, Mara. I can see they’re asleep. Now come to me.” Slimy darkness oozes from his words as his voice hardens, and a chill that has nothing to do with the cold dampness of my dress runs through me.
Wearing the blanket like a shield, I fasten my dress to hide my exposed breasts and stand to face my living nightmare. Time slows down with every step I take towards thedevil, almost as if I’m walking through a thick fog. Like an old friend, a field of chrysanthemums appears in my mind as it did in my life before Warren. Their shades of deep pink, orange, and red are just as beautiful as they always were, and it’s altogether too tempting to accept the sweet escape they offer.
But my empty arms remind me I can’t disappear into the flowers anymore. I have to stay present and endure this for my two children.
Montgomery’s mouth stretches in a wide smile when I stop before him. Evil shouldn’t have such straight, white teeth. The hand with the birthmark reaches for me. I hate myself for it, but I can’t stop myself from flinching. Not when my body knows what his touch means.
His amused chuckle tells me it doesn’t escape his notice. “Look at you. Pretending to be so strong when we both know you remember our lessons very well.” Deceptively gentle, he traces the edge of the blanket before yanking it away. It was a futile layer of protection, but without it, the cooler air of the room seeps in. Now a wet dress is all that stands between us. An abrupt shiver overtakes me, and his mouth settles into the familiar lines of cruelty as he stares at my hard nipples. “Cold, are you?” His brow lifts, then flattens at my silence. “Answer me.”
“Yes.” Lying serves no purpose.
“Good.”
I blink, taken aback at his pleased tone.
“Your punishment is amended for covering your tits when I never told you to do so. You will remain in your wet garments until they’re dry.”
I bite my lip to hold in the grim smile that wants to break free. If only he knew I’d willingly put on ten soaked dresses and wear them for hours on end just to stay covered.
“Undo your hair. There we go,” he says as I reluctantly release it so it falls around my face. “This is how I remember you.” His dirty eyes catch on the swell of my breasts. “Well, almost. You certainly never had tits like these when you were with me. I suppose I’ll have to keep you with child so they’ll stay like that.”
I swallow down the bile that wants to erupt.Just play along for now.He can choke on his words later.
“Kneel.” He’s making a mistake by having me so close to his genitals, but I drop into the submissive position he craves to see me in. Montgomery laughs mockingly. “So you do know how to obey. Do you love him? This…this husband of yours?”
Sweet memories push against the heaviness of the moment as I think of Warren. I remember his soft, concerned expression when he found me in the wagon.
The way his chest pressed against my back as he held me through childbirth and then proudly called himself Emmaline’s papa.
When he carried me in from the rain, changed my clothes, and brushed my wet hair before rocking with me in front of the fireplace.
Our first kiss.
Our last kiss.
I remember everything. A swell of yearning brushes shoulders with my burning anger, and I blink rapidly against the overwhelming emotion. “Yes,” I answer hoarsely. “I love him more than I ever thought I could love a man.”
“I can see that you do.” Montgomery’s too soft fingers grab my chin and force me to look into the face of the man who inflicted so much pain and trauma on me. “Too bad he doesn’t love you in return. Otherwise he would be here by now, wouldn’t he? But now I’ve taken both youand the little brat off his hands, and he must be so grateful.”
He wants to break me.
To crush my spirit with his words and his cane.
I won’t let him.
A hot tear streaks down my cheek, but I let it fall until it drips onto the dirty wooden floor. Let him think that it’s because of him. It doesn’t matter what he thinks. No matter the distance between me and Warren, I can almost feel his words slipping into my chest and matching every beat of my heart.Stay strong, wife, he whispers from wherever he is.I’m on my way.
