“I’m not waiting forever, Faith. It’s been six years. I shoulda been there from the moment you found out. I missed seeing her grow inside you. I missed witnessing you bring her into the world. I missed her first steps, her first day of school, her first words. I missed too much shit. I’m not missing another second of raising my fucking daughter.”
“OK.” I nodded, knowing that it was only right to introduce Reed to his daughter.
“Quick question.”
“What is it?” I asked, bracing myself for the foolishness.
“Who have you been letting see my pussy?”
“What?”
“You wax it yourself, or you been letting somebody in my business?”
“Hell no, I don’t wax myself. I go to a place.”
“That’s cancelled. I can take care of my own affairs. Snatching out a few hairs can’t be all that damn complicated.”
I laughed before I could stop myself. “Nah, I think I’ll leave that to the professionals.”
“I don’t need a chef, Faith. I’m perfectly capable of preparing my own meals.”
“Whatever, silly.” I continued to laugh.
I was grateful to Reed for lightening the mood, but there was no damn way I would let him give me a Brazilian wax. He was out of his damn mind.
“Find a new house by the end of the week, or I’m moving all this shit to my house. I don’t want you and my daughter living this close to a nigga who’s been trying to fuck you for almost a year.”
“Jasper is not trying to fuck me.” I laughed.
“Oh, so neighbor guy has a name?”
“He’s just a friendly neighbor. It’s not like that.”
“Hm, well as much as I hate to go, I have to go take care of a few things. We need to do this test that you want ASAP. I don’t need it. I know she’s mine.”
It had been twenty minutes since I walked out of Faith’s house, and I was still sitting outside, white-knuckling my steering wheel. My engine was running, and the radio played D’Angelo at a low volume. “Another Life” was one of my favorite songs ever, but right now, I could barely hear it as I considered calling those movers after all. Nothing about just leaving Faith and our daughter all the way over there, when they needed to be with me, felt right.
I couldn’t blink without seeing the most beautiful little girl in the world with the same sandy hair as me, and my whole fucking face, staring back at me. Jada. My daughter’s name was Jada. I had a daughter. I really had a daughter. The realization offinding out I was a dad kept hitting me in waves. Some of them came so hard and fast that I couldn’t breathe.
I should have been livid, but for the life of me, I couldn’t make myself commit to being mad with Faith for keeping her from me. I was angry, but my anger wasn’t directed toward Faith. No matter how bad I wanted to blame her for hiding Jada from me, I understood exactly why she did it.
I had given her every reason in the world not to trust me. Plus, I’d warned her about how dangerous my family could be. As much as I loved her, I knew finding out about my engagement would shattered her in ways that I would probably never fully understand. Seeing the terror in her eyes when Jada popped up in her room told me everything I needed to know. For good reason, Faith felt like she couldn’t trust me to be there for them. She truly believed that I would hurt them, and essentially, I did.
I couldn’t make myself admit it out loud, but I was madder at myself than anything. I should have gone after her. I should have begged her to listen to me and proved that I was the man who she had fallen in love with. I convinced myself that I didn’t deserve her. The reality of how royally I’d fucked up messed with my head as I finally backed out of her driveway.
Instead of heading home to change, I took the drive out to Cashville. I barely remembered parking or walking through the employee entrance to get to the private elevator that led to our offices. My mind was occupied by one thing and one thing only. I had a daughter. I wasn’t taking that lightly. By the time I made it to my office, I was losing my damn mind.
What if she thought I didn’t love her? What if she hated me? I had missed six years of her life. Six fucking years passed by without me knowing that she even existed. Birthdays, teething, first steps, first words, nightmares, all that shit happened without me being there.
Once I was in my office, I locked the door behind me and headed to my walk-in closet to get a change of clothes. I removed one of the suit bags, not worrying what was in it as I went to the shower to wash last night off me and get ready for the day. Mindlessly, I stripped out of my clothes and stepped into the shower hitting a couple knobs before warm water hit me from every direction.
As soon as I dipped my head under the water, the dam broke. I put both of my hands on the wall in front of me to brace myself, while I cried like a newborn baby. I had a fucking daughter with the woman I loved to death, and I never even knew it. I gave myself about fifteen minutes to fall apart before I got it together and finished my shower.
By the time I was dressed and prepared to try to get through the door, there was a knock at my office door.I sighed and walked over to snatch it open before turning around and moving back to my desk.
“The fuck wrong with you? I called you after I followed ol’ girl to make sure she got home safe. Did you get your girl?”
I actually forgot that I got Sawyer to take care of Hope and make sure she got home safe. Most of last night was a blur once Faith was in my car. I plopped down behind my desk as I considered how I would answer his question.
