“I’m not calling you that,” Ishita scoffs. “That’s a bastardization of your name. Why do you let them call you that?”
“It’s difficult to say Humaira.”
“It’s literally one extra syllable. Plus, they say Maira wrong. They say it like Máire, which is a different name!”
I can’t help the smile that bubbles up inside me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone get worked up over a name before.
“Look … you can’t keep calling me Humaira. It’s … weird.”
I insist. “Nobody calls me that. Maybe you should call me Hani.”
“Fine,” Ishita says like that’s the last thing she wants to call me. “Then, I guess … you should call me Ishu.”
“Cute.” My smile widens. Ishita is definitely not an Ishu.
“Shut the fuck up.” Ishita rolls her eyes, but I can see the corners of her lips twitching with her attempts to bite back a smile. “It’s what my family calls me, okay?”
“I said no cursing.”
“Sorry.” Again, the apology. Those words out of Ishita’s—Ishu’s—mouth sound blasphemous. I stifle my surprise for it as fast as I can. If I say anything, she’ll probably take it back. So I just change the subject.
“If you want to be Head Girl, you’ll have to do stuff you probably won’t want to do, you know. School events, parties, talking to people, being … a pleasant human being.”
She frowns but nods. “Yeah. I can do it. I was pleasant to your mom downstairs.”
“You looked like you were constipated,” I say. “I don’t think anybody wants a constipated Head Girl.”
“My constipation wouldn’t stop me from doing a good job so that’s just fucking—shit—fuck.” She clamps her hand over her mouth, her eyes widening as she looks at me. She looks so adorably terrified—in the most un-Ishita way I’ve ever seen in my whole life—that I can’t help but burst into a fit of laughter.
A moment later, Ishita joins me until our laughter melds together into one large guffaw.
If someone had told me Ishita Dey and I would be laughing our asses off in my bedroom today, I would have never believed them in a billion years.
chapter nine
hani
AFTER OUR LAUGHTER DIES DOWN, ISHITA—ISHU—and I settle down into a strange silence. It’s not exactly awkward, but it’s not comfortable either.
I grab hold of the laptop on the top shelf of my desk and open it up. If we’re going to do this, we need to do it properly.
I sign into my Google Docs and create a brand new document.Untitled Documentglares up at me brightly from the screen.
I turn to find Ishu looking at me with a question mark on her face.
“If we write down our lies, then we won’t get caught,” I explain. I’ve never really lied to Amma or Abba, and I don’t really want to start lying to them now, but I guess I don’t really have a choice. So if I’m going to lie, I might as well make sure I’m doing it well.
I typeHani and Ishu’s Guide to Fake Datinginto the title space, stifling a grin of satisfaction at having come up with that all by myself.
“So … how did it start?” I ask.
“What?”
“You know …” I turn to her slowly. “How did we start … dating?”
Ishu shrugs. “Is it anyone’s business?”
I heave a sigh. I should have known Ishu would be like this. “Youcan answer people like that,” I say. “I can’t. That’ll just come off as defensive.”Not everyone is as abrasive as you, Ishu,I want to say, but I keep that little thought to myself.
