I remember that day – a little too fondly. I’m not sure if even the national women’s soccer league win compared to this one. Beside the trophy is a framed photo of our entire team. My eyes immediately find me and Dina side by side, her arms wrapped around me. Both of us grinning into the camera like this was the best day of our lives. I wonder if itwasthe best day of my life. If everything else after that pales in comparison. There’s a dull ache in my heart as I think about that day and this picture.
‘You know, we’re looking for a football coach for the summer,’ Ms Jacobs says, interrupting my revisit of the past.
I look away from the picture of me and Dina and turn back to her with a question on my face.
‘The current PE teacher isn’t available, and if we can’t find someone, we’ll probably have to cancel the summer football programme, which the students have been really looking forward to. I’m sure you have a busy schedule, but if you had some time, maybe you would be interested in filling in?’
An offer of a job is definitely not something I was expecting today. Especially dressed in my tracksuit, with sweat clinging to every inch of me.
‘I’m not really a coach,’ I say.
‘Sure, but you know the game better than anyone, and the students would be so happy to have you as the coach. They really look up to you. And I know you’re more than capable.’
I’m not sure if I agree. Besides, if I’m not going to be playing football anymore, I’m not sure if I want anything to do with it. Being sidelined during matches was bad enough, filled with longing for wanting to be in the game, kicking the ball around. Agreeing to a coaching position feels like agreeing to being sidelined forever.
But then I glance back at the picture from my days on the football team. The happiest days of my life, me and Dina together. I know that we can never go back to that. I know that I shouldn’t cling to the past. That I should try to move on. But if Dina can be a football coach with Jen, why can’t I? I imagine running into her again, back in the cafe. This time, I wouldn’t run out, feeling my heart beating like a hundred butterflies’ wings under my ribcage. I could look her in the eye, tell her that I’m back for good, that I’m here to stay. That I’m coaching a football team, same as her.
‘OK,’ I say. ‘I’ll take the job.’
Chapter 8
Maya
Fifteen years ago
Dina has her glare fixed on me as I run towards her. The ball is at my feet; it almost feels automatic as I dribble it forward. My breath is fast and heavy, and I know I’ve already outrun the other players on my team. It’s just Dina playing in goal, and me. She’s the only thing standing between me and scoring the goal.
I pause for a second, just at the threshold of the penalty area, my eyes meeting Dina’s. If she sees my challenge in them, it doesn’t cause her to back down or even pause for a second. She stretches her arms on either side, ready to block the shot.
I run forward, shaping as if to go to the right. Dina moves towards the ball, and my foot pushes forward, shooting to the left. Dina realises her mistake at the last second, stumbling and leaping towards the ball. But I’m too fast, and she’s too late. The ball brushes against the tips of her fingers and hits the net, before bounding to the ground with a satisfying thwap.
I turn to the rest of the team with a grin, as Jen blows the whistle.
‘And that’s time. Well done, Maya,’ Jen says. ‘That was a great goal.’ She gives me an encouraging pat on theshoulder, and even though she doesn’t say it, I already know that there’s no way Jen will leave me out of the team now.
To my dismay, though, Jen gives Dina an encouraging look as she leaves the goalmouth and makes her way towards the centre of the pitch.
‘You did a good job too, Dina. If you’d been just a second earlier, you would have caught the ball,’ Jen says.
Dina doesn’t seem very encouraged by Jen’s compliment. She just shrugs, her expression surly as she glances at me. I simply glare back. It’s not my fault that I’m a better football player than her, and besides, if Jen’s compliment is anything to go by, Dina will probably make it onto the team as well. The thought doesn’t make me happy.
Dina has seemed determined to hate me ever since that English class and I’m not exactly a big fan of her either. Being on the same football team wasn’t on my bingo card, but I can make it work.
Dina, though? I’m not sure ifshecan make it work.
‘All right, girls, really good game. Unfortunately, we don’t have enough spots on the team for everyone, but that was a great effort from all of you,’ Jen says with an encouraging smile. ‘So, the team is as follows …’
Jen starts calling out the names one by one. As each girl is called, they visibly brighten, many of them turning to high-five each other. I have no doubt that I made the cut, but I still wait with bated breath, my heart beating faster and faster as Jen calls each name that’s not mine.
‘Dina Chowdhury!’ Jen calls out, and Dina’s forlorn expression changes to one of surprise. She looks towards Jen, like she can’t believe she was actually chosen. I frown at the act – as if Dina doesn’t know that she was one of the best players trying out today. She blocked nearly everyshot when she was playing in goal, and she scored two goals when she was playing up front. Her team probably would have won if Jen hadn’t made them switch goalies halfway through the match.
Jen is quickly nearing the end of her list, and I’m yet to be called. My previous confidence starts to fade a little too fast, replaced with a slow-building panic. Is it possible that I didn’t play as well as I thought I did? Or maybe Jen just thought that my last-minute goal was a fluke? After all, that was the only goal I managed to score, even if I did succeed in winning possession back from the other team multiple times.
‘Last but not least, Maya Alam.’ Jen gives me a smile as she says my name, and relief washes over me.
Beside me, Gwen and Nadine give me excited high-fives. Nadine and I have been obsessed with football since primary school and when we found out the secondary school had a team, we were desperate to try out, but we’ve only just met Gwen at try-outs.
‘All right, that’s everyone. I’m sorry to anyone who didn’t make the team. We still have the football unit in PE later in the year. And maybe you can try your luck next year, all right?’
