‘Let’s get inside,’ I say, turning away from her and towards the door. This definitely doesn’t feel like the right time to think back to the past. And definitely not to that day.
The door unlocks with a click, and I push it open, waving Dina inside as I put Abba’s car keys back in their place.
‘Are your parents home?’ Dina asks in what’s supposed to be a whisper but is still a little too loud.
I crack a smile, though I should really be worried about Abba and Amma waking up and wondering why Dina is here in the middle of the night, and jumping to conclusions that I definitely don’t want them jumping to.
‘Yes, so we have to be quiet,’ I reply in an actual whisper.
Dina nods, and follows my lead as I head up the stairs and to my bedroom. As Dina looks around, I feel a strange sense of vulnerability overwhelm me. It’s been a long timesince Dina has been in here, and I don’t even want to know her thoughts. Is she thinking about the fact that I’m back in my teenage bedroom? That I’m a failure who is stuck back where I started? Is she thinking about the fact that nothing in this place has changed at all? Is she wondering if even I have changed at all in the past nine years, or if I’m stuck as the same eighteen-year-old who she broke up with on the doorstep of this house nine years ago?
‘Sit down, I can find you some clothes to get changed into,’ I instruct.
Dina does exactly as I tell her, plopping herself down on my bed and looking around wide-eyed.
‘Thanks … for helping me tonight,’ she whispers slowly. Like it’s a struggle for her to say thank you. I guess it always has been a struggle, considering how Dina prides herself on being so self-sufficient. On not needing anyone but herself.
I smile, sitting down on the bed next to her. ‘How come … you called me tonight?’
‘My brother is too stressed, my mum would murder me if I called her,’ she says, ticking off the apparent list of people she could have called.
‘What about your girlfriend?’
Dina whips her head around to stare at me. ‘My what?’
‘You know, that girl I saw you with at the park the other day.’
‘You thought Thea was my girlfriend?’ Dina knits her eyebrows together in confusion. ‘Did we look like we were dating?’
‘I don’t know.’ Though now that I think about it, they definitely didn’t. If it wasn’t for the bouquet I saw on Dina’s Instagram page, I probably wouldn’t have given them a second thought.
‘Why would you think I was dating Thea?’ Dina asks. She’s grinning now like she finds this whole thing funny. I would too, if it wasn’t embarrassing. If it didn’t reveal that I was thinking about Dina in that way when I definitely shouldn’t be.
‘I saw this photo on your Instagram. It was this bouquet of flowers and I thought …’ I shrug.
‘I must be dating someone.’ Dina chuckles. ‘Maya Alam, were you stalking my Instagram?’
‘I wasn’t.’ My face is hot now from all the blushing and I’m sure Dina can see it. We’re sitting close enough for her to make out the pink tinge on my cheeks, but she doesn’t comment on it.
‘It’s OK. It’s not like I haven’t stalked your online presence,’ Dina admits.
I blink at her, surprised. ‘Why would you do that?’
‘I don’t know,’ Dina says, her voice getting softer with every word. So soft that I have to lean forward to hear her, until the two of us are a little too close to each other. I can feel her breath with every word that she speaks now. ‘I guess I missed you.’
‘Oh.’ I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that. I’m not sure if I can even say much at all.
My eyes travel down to Dina’s lips, even though that seems like a bad idea. This whole thing seems like a bad idea, especially when I had so thoroughly convinced myself that I was done with Dina. That I was ready to move on.
But now here I am again, sitting in my bedroom, face to face with Dina. Thinking once more about what it would be like to kiss her.
Dina’s eyes seem to glitter when the light catches them. She leans towards me, agonisingly slowly, tilting her head toone side. Something draws me forward too; it’s almost like a pull of gravity. I can’t help but go towards her, studying the honey-brown of her eyes; how they shift and shimmer in the light, how they darken and lighten, as if by some magic.
I reach out a hand, touching the corner of her lips where the red of her lipstick has smudged into a streak of pink. I wipe it away, and I can feel Dina’s sharp breath at the touch more than I hear it.
Then, all at once Dina presses a kiss to my lips. It’s feather-light, hesitant; almost like she’s asking permission. I pull her close to me, already losing myself in the heady scent of her, and circle an arm around her waist. As if this was all that Dina needed, she deepens our kiss, and suddenly it feels desperate and hungry. I kiss her back with this same kind of desperation, like Dina is sand between my fingers and if I don’t kiss her now, I might never get the chance again.
‘I’ve been wanting to kiss you since we first ran into each other. It’s all I’ve been thinking about doing,’ I mumble into her lips.
