‘I’m Rosemary Clarke, and I write for theDaily Standard.’
My smile immediately dissipates, but that doesn’t deter Rosemary.
‘I’ve seen all the viral posts on Instagram and I’ll be covering the match. I wanted to reach out and see if you had a comment about Maya Alam, since you must be keyed into her history.’
I’m straight-up scowling at Rosemary now. ‘I don’t. Excuse me, I have to get going.’
I push past her, but Rosemary follows me into the streets. ‘I’ll be writing about Maya, whether you want to share a quote or not!’
That manages to stop me in my tracks. I turn around to face Rosemary. ‘What do you want to know?’
‘Well, from my research, you and Maya went to school together, you were on the same football team.Youwere the star player of the team, not Maya. So, how exactly did she make it all the way into a professional team, while you’re coaching a council team that can’t even afford kits?’ Rosemary asks.
If Rosemary had asked me this question even a few days ago, I know what kind of answer I would have for her. But after my conversation with Deen, my pep talk to Sophie, my anger seems to have dissolved into a soft pang of regret.
‘She was a great player,’ I reply. ‘And she’s always been hard-working and dedicated. The Vikings were lucky to have her.’
This is clearly not the kind of scoop that Rosemary was hoping for, because she looks far from impressed. ‘So, all the rumours about her being terrible to work with, bullying other players … they don’t ring true with the person she was in school? She didn’t sabotage your chances to get her shot?’
‘She’s not that kind of person. She never has been. I wouldn’t let my team play against hers if she was. Now I really have to get going.’ I turn around, leaving Rosemary behind. This time, she doesn’t follow me and I let out a breath, suddenly feeling a thousand times lighter.
Chapter 31
Maya
Match day
I barely sleep the night before the match. Instead, I find myself staring up at the ceiling, running through all of the possibilities of tomorrow. I imagine arriving at the park and Dina marching up to me, angry about the conversation we had at the coffee shop the other day. I imagine how she might react if she loses the match – her disappointment, her heartbreak. I’m sure she’ll blame me for that too.
I close my eyes and try to sleep, but I can’t get Dina’s face out of my mind.
By the time it’s morning, I’m already exhausted, but I scramble out of bed, shower and get dressed.
Amma and Abba share excited chatter about attending the match over the breakfast table, but I can only smile and nod.
‘If the match goes well, I bet the school will give you a permanent position,’ Amma says as she starts clearing the dishes. ‘I mean, they would have no reason not to. Wouldn’t that be amazing?’
‘Yeah, Ms Jacobs mentioned that it might be a possibility the other day,’ I confess.
Amma is right – it’s the exact kind of opportunity that I need. No matter what has been happening with Dina,coaching this team has been amazing. When I retired from football a few months ago, I felt like my life was over and like I would never have another opportunity again. I listlessly thought about other jobs I could do, I even briefly thought about going to university, though the idea of that wasn’t attractive. And then this job happened out of the blue.
‘That sounds like the perfect job for you,’ Amma says encouragingly.
Abba gives me a hesitant look. ‘I know it’s not the career that you dreamed about.’ This is the first time that either of my parents has mentioned my impromptu retirement from football. I’ve barely explained the ins and outs of everything to them, feeling too embarrassed of my failures. And seeing how touchy I’ve been about the subject since I got back, they’ve always skirted around it.
‘I know, but … I like it,’ I say, realising that I mean it. I didn’t think I would enjoy it the way that I have. The ability to pass on everything that I have learned over the past few years, to not let my knowledge and skills fall to the wayside, like I thought I would have to once I quit football. It feels good – it feels like what I was meant to do in the same way I felt like I was meant to play football.
Abba smiles. ‘Sometimes, life takes you down unexpected avenues. When your amma and I got married in Bangladesh, we never expected that we would build our family here in London, but now we can’t imagine a different life for us.’
It’s strange to think about, but Abba is right. What had felt like the end of the world just months ago doesn’t feel like that anymore. I tried to live my dream life, and it had been less of a dream than I’d imagined. Now I’m here, backin my parents’ home, working a job at my old school, still confused about my ex-girlfriend, but I don’t hate this life. I like the way I fit into it. It’s an unexpected realisation, but it’s what I need going into this match.
Because no matter what happens, no matter how Dina reacts, I will be OK.
Chapter 32
Dina
Being back at this football pitch after all these years feels like taking a step back into the past. The place is crawling with people when I arrive. It’s more packed than it ever was for any of our matches. A lump forms in my throat as I glance around the crowd, looking for a familiar face. But everyone starts to blur together. My heart goes into overdrive when I spot a camera crew and reporter by the touchline, already filming the crowd of people.
