‘Because I’m afraid . . .’ Isn’t that obvious?
‘Of what?’ says Kira.
‘Rejection? What if he doesn’t feel the same?’ I say.
‘But you won’t know if you don’t try,’ says Kira, raising her hands in the air.
‘You don’t even like Ollie,’ I say, shaking my head.
‘No, I don’t. Mostly because I think he’s a presumptuous arse,’says Kira. ‘But I like you. And I wish you had put yourself out there. You’ve been pining after him all these years and never told him how you feel!’
‘Okay, well I’m going to Manchester at the end of the month,’ I say, crossing my arms. Why does Kira have to always make me feel like I’ve done something wrong? It’s not like she’s so perfect.
‘So what,’ says Kira. ‘You’re going to go all the way to Manchester to win him back?’ She pauses. ‘Selena, I have to tell you this, but that is batshit. You can’t do that.’
‘Just a second ago you were telling me I need to put myself out there!’
‘Yeah, when he was living next door! Not when you have to trek across the country to do it.’
‘I think it sounds romantic,’ chips in Faye.
‘Ollie invited me,’ I say. ‘I’m going to Manchester because he invited me! It feels like we’re growing apart, but he’s still one of my best friends. My oldest friend. I’m not going to confess my undying love to him.’ I pause a beat. ‘Potentially.’
Kira and Faye exchange a look. ‘Okay,’ says Kira. ‘You have our full support.’
‘Yeah, it makes total sense you want to see your friend,’ says Faye.
‘But think about what you’re going to do before you go,’ says Kira. ‘Hey, I’m in full support of you telling that waste-of-space you have feelings so you can get it off your chest, but I don’t want you to do it in a way where you get hurt.’
‘I’ll be fine,’ I say. ‘Even if he rejects me, he won’t hurt me. It’s Ollie!’ I look at the National Rail site on my phone. ‘What’s more at risk of hurting me is the cost of these train tickets! How does anyone ever afford to go to Manchester?’
Twenty-Two
My nerves are on fire
This is desire
Oh . . . I think this is the start
Of something electric, magnetic
I hope I don’t regret it
‘Electric’ fromThe In-Between
I’m in the kitchen, with my laptop open, ready to book the world’s longest coach to get to Manchester. It’s now mid-October and Ollie’s birthday is three weeks away, and the train tickets are eye-wateringly expensive. And for every day I’ve not booked, the prices have climbed higher and higher. The coach may be a lot cheaper, but what it doesn’t cost me in money, it costs me in time. Seven hours, to be precise, because of a ‘route diversion’ which means they’ve added five more stops than usual. Wonderful.
Luckily Ollie’s birthday has timed with half term, which means I can afford to spend a full Friday travelling to Manchester.
That’s when I notice the basketball in the garden. I see it as a signal that Daze wants to speak to me. He simply can’t be this bad at basketball, no matter how hard the tricks are.
I walk outside in a puffer jacket, pick up the ball and throw it over the fence.
‘Aren’t you cold?’ I say. Daze is dressed in a basketball jersey, but with leggings under long shorts.
‘Hell yeah,’ says Daze. ‘But it keeps me moving.’ He starts dribbling aggressively, then stops suddenly, walks away and picks up a jumper. ‘But I guess to talk to you I should put this on.’
‘How’s it going? How’s school?’
