Ty shrugs. ‘I think your UK geography is better than mine.’
I’m aware things are currently a bit strange with Ty, but the opportunity is too good to miss . . .
‘Can you drive me up too? I need to be in Manchester that weekend. And right now I’m looking at a seven-hour coach ride . . . A car ride from you sounds much more enjoyable. Andwith less stops.’
Ty side eyes me. ‘Sure,’ he says slowly. ‘Why are you going?’
‘To see a friend,’ is all I say.
We walk in silence for a bit, heading into the park.
‘It’s funny how you feel you have too much direction and I don’t feel I have any at all,’ I say.
‘But isn’t it nice? To feel like you could do anything?’
I pause, thinking carefully. ‘I always thought I could do anything. But I think I would also want someone to tell me I’m on the right track. That everything will be okay, no matter what I choose. Because even though there are a lot of choices, it doesn’t always feel like I’m making the right ones.’ Now it’s my turn to pause. ‘I never knew my dad, you know.’
Ty nods. ‘I’ve only seen you and your mom around.’
‘The rough story is, Mum met him on one of her trips when she was young, got pregnant, he didn’t want anything to do with me or her, and . . . now I’m here.’
‘That’s . . . I can’t believe someone would do that.’
I wave my hand at him. ‘Don’t worry about it. I don’t really mind. Mum has been enough for me. Enough for two parents. And we barely see my grandparents at all. But Mum’s a strong person, you know? And I want to make the right choices, so she knows . . . well, she made the right choices with me.’
Ty grabs my wrist, squeezing it. ‘You and your mum are great. I’m sorry for complaining so much about Paul.’
I let him hold on to it. ‘No, don’t worry about it. I wanted you to know I get it, about how our parents shape us. Who would I be if my mum wasn’t so decisive, so independent? I think she expects me to be the same as her, but I’m not, and I feel I’m letting her down sometimes. And now her arthritis is getting worse, I feel like I’m not doing enough for her. Just like you feel you’re letting your dad down.’
‘I think the difference is my dad is a hardass, while your mumis badass.’
I laugh and pull myself away, spinning myself around in the autumn sunshine. I feel lighter than ever before.
Twenty-Four
They say I’m all about the
Drama!
So good at acting this part
I might just get an
Oscar!
‘Drama!’ fromThe In-Between
Today’s Take:Haters gonna hate
My last article caused quite a stir, so let me address that here. Unlike your social media posts, I don’t need everyone to like me. I’m not your god, your therapist, your mother. I am here, telling my story and sharing my thoughts. You’re your own person, you can think for yourself. And if you’re going to be a group of snivelling lambs following a wolf – well, that’s your own prerogative.
‘What is this?’ says Kira, putting downThe Common Roomin front of me.
‘Looks like a copy ofThe Common Room,’ I say.
‘“I don’t need everyone to like me”,’ reads out Kira. She looks at me. ‘Selena, you care deeply about being liked. It’s why you won’t put your name against this.’
‘But it’s not my words, it’s the Secret Sender.’
