I flush, not wanting to voice my thoughts. Hidden looks and moments are one thing, but there’s no coming back from saying this out loud.
‘I know you’re trying to look out for me,’ I say quietly. ‘But you don’t know Ollie the way I do. He’s not the villain you think he is.’
‘Everyone is a hero in their own story,’ says Ty. ‘I’m sure Ollie doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong.’
‘But neither do I.’
Ty sighs. ‘Okay, Selena. Well, I’m here for you.’ My mouth feels dry, I can’t believe he’s this nice. He’s really watching out for me. He cares aboutme. I don’t really know how to put it into words.
We go back to sitting in silence, listening to my playlist.
‘When’s your birthday, anyway?’ I say.
‘Oh, it was last month,’ says Ty.
‘Wait, what?’ I say. ‘You turned eighteen and you didn’t tell me!’
‘Well, our friendship was . . . fraught.’
‘You mean we fought.’
‘Well, that too.’
‘You should have still told me,’ I say. I feel upset that he didn’t.I would want to celebrate with him, show him he does have a friend here.
‘Well, now you know. September seventeenth.’
‘I’ll memorise it for next year.’
He smiles. ‘I hope I can celebrate with you next year. When’s yours?’
‘In a few weeks – December first,’ I say. ‘Ollie and I were born really close together. It’s how our mums became friends, how we became friends.’
‘You two are really tight, huh?’
I shrug. It’s true. We are, or were.
‘What are you going to do for your birthday?’
‘I haven’t really thought—’ An idea strikes me. ‘Hey, I should host a party.’ It’s perfect!
‘Really?’
‘Yes! And I’ll invite Ollie, and then I can tell him how I feel.’
I blurt it out, and Ty is silent. Oops. I was so excited, and now I feel bad bringing it up. I feel torn again; I want to be able to talk to Ty about everything, but there’s this unsaid undercurrent in our relationship. One that makes it hard for me to talk to him about Ollie. And I want Ty to know he matters to me too.
‘Sounds like a plan,’ he says after a moment.
We drive on for a bit longer in silence.
‘Ty,’ I say quietly, glancing at him. His eyes are on the road and it is really hard trying to work out what he’s thinking.
‘Yeah?’
‘I’m glad we’re friends,’ I say. And it’s true. He drove me all the way here and all the way back. He’s the one who’s listened to me rant about Ollie and my confusing feelings, with no judgement. He really cares for me, and I realise, I really care about him too.
I look at him, and for a brief second he catches my eye, and a jolt of electricity shoots down me. We both quickly turn away.
