‘Point taken,’ I say, returning to my scrubbing. Mum doesn’t believe in enforced punishment, so I asked her what she would like me to do to make it up to her.
She came back with a very long list.
At least this way, she can see I’m sorry. I wish I could do the same to show Kira.
***
The next day, Faye hands me a note at school. It’s my last day at school before I start work experience on Monday. I’m in the library, doing some revision. I didn’t want to go to the common room and have people whisper around me like they’ve been doing all week. Faye perches at the end of the desk after she hands it over to me. The note is written on some lined paper, folded over in half.
‘This is quite old school,’ I say. ‘Couldn’t she have texted me?’
‘She said looking at your old chat history made her upset.’
‘Forget politics, maybe Kira should be the one writing stories,’ I say.
But I’m glad to hear from her. I open the note.
I have not forgiven you.
‘Good start,’ I say, after reading out loud the first line to Faye.
I am still feeling very hurt, but I heard about how you stood up to Tori in English. Good for you, girl. It’s a shame this is how we had to get here. I know you’re sorry, and you didn’t mean what you said, but I’m not ready to forgive what you said. You cut me deep, Selena. I valued our friendship more than anything. I don’t think you did.
I’m sorry I blew your Secret Sender cover like that, but I’m glad you realise it had to be done. No good comes from secrets. Say what you think, say it with pride. I need a friend who is willing to stand up for me, the way I would stand up for them.
Kira
I look up at Faye. ‘This sucks,’ I say.
‘It does,’ she agrees.
‘Not because Kira’s mad at me, which does suck. But it mostly sucks because she’s right.’
Faye nods. ‘I think she’ll come around, but you know that though.’
I slump down onto the desk. ‘In my heart, I didn’t think this would ever catch up to me, which is why I kept pushing my articles further and further. In the moment I did believe in what I was writing, but now I’ve seen everyone’s reaction, maybe I should have kept my thoughts to myself.’
Faye touches my shoulder. ‘No, Selena, you should say what you think, you need to own what you’re saying. That’s why Kira was impressed when she heard how you stood up to Tori. You said what you thought and you stood by it.’
Say what you think and stand by it.
Maybe Kira isn’t ready to hear from me yet, but there’s one person I’ve not tried that out with yet.
***
I knock on the front door and Daze opens it.
‘Selena?’ he says, confused.
‘I need to talk to Ty,’ I say.
Daze sighs. ‘He doesn’t want to talk to you. What went down between the two of you anyway?’
‘Can I come in at least?’ I say. ‘It’s freezing out here.’
‘Yeah, yeah, this country is wild, man. How do you cope with this cold? I’m always wearing about five layers.’
‘Doesn’t it get cold in San Francisco?’
