Fuck. Nevermind.
Kingsley rolls over with one eyelid half open. I flick on a lamp. “What’s up?”
“What are you doing?” he asks, voice gruff. God, I could listen to his raspy morning voice for hours.
“I had to piss,” I reply.
I hop under the covers like it’s our normal routine, and he sits up with a hard stare. I snuck into his dad’s office for ten minutes and left no trace, and now I’m about to get caught sneaking back into his bed? Wish I’d been an arsehole and not returned, but I’m better than leaving a hookup in the middle of the night without warning.
And even if I wasn’t, Kingsley didn’t feel like just a hookup.
“You weren’t going to run off, were you?” he asks. I can practically see the walls forming around him again.
“No, King. I wouldn’t do that.”
His head shakes, unsure. Then he shrugs. “I wasn’t sure if you’d freak out when you woke up.”
Me? Freak out? When do I ever do that? “Why would I freak out?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe your whole ‘I’m only into women’ thing, even after repeatedly hooking up with me?” He waves his hands cartoonishly. “I wasn’t sure if you’d run away once we finally fucked.”
I want to be pissed, but after all the back and forth and denial I’ve shown, can I blame him for wondering? What other conclusion could he come to?
I should tell him the truth so he won’t think I’m confused anymore, because I’m definitely not. I know who I’m into; I’m picky about who I choose to give the immense pleasure that is Rip Redgrave.
“I like men too, Kingsley,” I state. “More specifically, you.”
King gives me a blank, yet shocked, look. “So why deny it? For some reason, I thought you would be more comfortable.”
“I am comfortable.” In a way. “I grew up watching my mums be so in love that it got annoying at times.”
My parents give each other all the love in the world. Trust, if anyone laid a hand on Mum, Mother would have their head within the next hour. When Mother gets sick, Mum becomes a nurse and takes care of her, not worrying about catching the bug herself, like they promised in their vows.
Their love shows Tommy and me what it means to be a family. They aimed to heal their children’s past struggles and give us that same deep, unwavering love they have. But they also taught us, whether they wanted to or not, to hide that love.
The Requiem isn’t with today’s times, to say the least. My uncle, my brother, and I are the only ones in the organization who know about Mum and Mother’s relationship. The others act like they’re only roommates, and Thomas and I are stray kids they let live in their home and take the Redgrave last name. Yeah, it sounds crazy, and people have gossiped about more between my parents, but no one has the balls to look into Emma Redgrave.
So, while they’re all lovey-dovey in front of my brother and me, they don’t show it to the rest of the world. Giving in to Kingsley means I have to face the same consequences: choosing someone in secret. That’s not even mentioning us being part of two different families.
I don’t want to live that way, but the way we’re going, I may not have a choice.
“But as much as they love each other, they have to hide who they are.” I wrap my hand around Kingsley’s wrist, gently pulling him to me. He lets me. “So if I don’t have real relationships, I’ll never have to hide. Ignoring my attraction for someone I know I could fall for is easier than risking it.”
He leans against me, and I inhale the faint scent of his hair. “That’s shitty.”
It’s more than shitty. It’s cruel. My mums couldn’t announce to anyone that they adopted two boys. Everyone still sees me asa child left behind by his parents, never to be adopted again. My fake background from Jordan is the only thing that shows I have two moms, and they all believed it’s just that. Fake.
My eyes become heavy, and water threatens them, but I blink it away before it can surface. I need to get a grip. “Is your family accepting?”
Kingsley nods once. “Most of them. My parents, sisters, and a couple of others know I’m bisexual. But if my grandparents found out, it would probably kill them.”
“Sorry,” I mumble.
King shrugs. “I don’t really like them, anyway.”
Kingsley nudges closer, and his finger finds the ink on my chest. His finger moves over my skin as he traces the intricate lines of the tattoos adorning my bare chest, circling and filling in each one.
“Do they have a meaning?” he eventually asks.
