“Better than my parents.” Pain flashes across his face but it’s gone in an instant. “Otto is great and he loves Briggs, loves Fallon, and hell, he loves me too.”
“I’m sensing abuthere.”
“I felt guilty when I came here that I’d trapped Fallon in a marriage that I thought was the right thing to do.” His lips press into a hard line and I want to go to him—comfort him—but I’m afraid it will be too much. He needs to get this out and even though it kills me, I keep myself rooted to my spot. “But we did all right, you know? Briggs was happy and healthy andloved.”
“Of course.”
“But then I saw the way Otto loves Fallon and the way thatsheloveshim.It felt like someone had sucked all the air from mylungs. They were meant to be together and I took so much time from them.”
“Tanner…”
I take a step but he holds up his hands. “I know. Iknow.I’ve been through enough therapy for a lifetime and on some level I get it. I can parrot back all the right things, and some days I even believe it. Fallon and I made a choice but it still weighs on me, and now I’m a single dad and the idea of bringing anyone around him is terrifying. I’ve been out on a couple of dates but I’m…”
“Healing?” I offer because it sure as hell sounds like he’s been rode hard and put away wet and not in the good way.
“Inexperienced.”
Well, all right then.
“Okay…”
“I haven’t done anything if I’m being honest. It’s not something that works itself easily into conversation over steak and beer.”
“Are you worried that’s a deal-breaker? Because it’s not.” It’s the truth, although I can’t remember the last time I would have taken someone’s virginity. It’s definitely been a while.
“I’m worried about everything.”
“I’m a problem solver, but you’re gonna have to help me out alittle.”Grinning, I hold up my thumb and forefinger, pinching them close together to illustrate the point.
“I don’t know what I like, and I’ve never—” He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing as his gaze darts around the room. “I don’t know if I can give you whatyoulike.”
“Learning together might be fun.”
“I’m afraid I won’t be able to get out of my own head—that I’ll want things and not be able to articulate it. I’m worried I won’t be able to let myself be happy and truly let go. I’m going to need a push, and that’s a hell of a lot of work for adate.Seriously, ifyou were in my house instead of me in yours right now, this is the part where I’d expect you to just turn around and walk out.”
This time it’s my mouth opening and closing as I try, and fail, to find the right words. In all my years on this planet, I’ve never had a negotiation take place simply to date someone. It’s like having the terms and conditions laid out, and I have to sign on the dotted line.
I kind of like it, and I have no idea what that says about me.
Taking a moment, I search his face while I sift through all the things he’s said.
And all the ones he hasn’t.
“Tell me what you want.” It’s not so much a command as it is a prompt because unless I’m reading this wrong, that’s exactly what he needs.
“I want you to ask me.” Belatedly, he adds, “Again.” He holds my gaze as he says the words, his pulse fluttering in the column of his throat.
Nervous.
But confident.
Waiting a beat, I push off from where I’m standing across the room, stalking over to him slowly.
Purposefully.
He shifts on the stool as I approach, his movements matching mine until his back is pressed against the edge, bowing slightly as I cage him in with my arms on either side of him.
“Tanner?” I rumble, his name coming out deep and throaty as his glance darts from my eyes to my lips and up again.
