DEACON: Stop overthinking it—I’m not going anywhere
TANNER: How did you know I was overthinking anything?
DEACON: You took too long to respond
DEACON: And I doubt it’s because you got too distracted getting yourself off
TANNER: I sound like no fun at all
DEACON: You’re a lot of fun. You just have to be reminded not to be so serious all the time
TANNER: I’m a work in progress
DEACON: And I’m here for it.
DEACON: All of it.
Let’sjust hope it stays that way.
18
TANNER
ABOUT THREE YEARS AGO
Mandatory Journal Entry #230
Fallon and Otto are having a baby. I knew it’d happen eventually, but sometimes I feel like I haven’t had enough time to get used to her being married to someone else. Even writing that seems ridiculous but it’s true. Briggs and Otto delivered the news and I couldn’t wrap my head around being so genuinely excited for them and so lost.
And then Otto shocked the hell out of me.
He gave me a shirt that says Bonus Dad-ish because they want me to be as much a part of the baby’s life as I want to be. It was humbling and I love that they want to include me—and I know it’s not just for Briggs’s sake. And I love babies so I’m excited they want me involved.
But now I have to wonder if I’m always going to be the pseudo uncle. Is that my role now? Lord knows I’m not ready to date anyone let alone create a new family. What if I never find someone? Briggs will grow up and have his own life and I’ll be the reliable babysitter while everyone else is on their date nights.
Maybe it won’t be so bad.
Or maybe I’ve used up my chance at happiness.
Right now, I just pray it’s not the latter.
19
DEACON
Acouple of emergency rush jobs kept me busy and unable to spend the time I wanted to with Tanner over the next week. I’m thankful for the work and the income, but not seeing him was a special kind of torture especially after everything it took to get us here.
I hadn’t been back to Vetted Paws yet, and even though Tanner stopped by the rental property I was working on with lunch on Wednesday, it wasn’t enough. He’d been timid, and instead of kissing him like I wanted, I kept my hands—and mouth—to myself.
As a result, my dick had been half hard the rest of the day.
Hell, if I’m being honest, I’ve been half hard all week just waiting to be able to see him again, and tonight couldn’t come soon enough.
The porch light is on as I pull up into the driveway and park. It’s been a long time since I’ve been nervous for a date, and I give myself a minute to take in the tan-colored house with the white shutters and door. The porch is large, and like most of the properties here has a couple of rocking chairs and flowers in pots lining the steps.
Gravel crunches under my feet as I walk the short distance to the porch, the door opening before I can even knock. Tanner smiles shyly, his shoulders sagging the littlest bit, like he’s relieved to see me.
It’s nice.
