“What are you still doing here?” Sorren barks as he stomps into the lobby and scowls.
“I’m single and my kid is with his mom so I’m getting caught up on emails,” I say coolly, knowing he’s not talking about work at all. “What areyoudoing here?”
“One of the dogs is having a hard time. Bodhi is coming to sit with him for a while.”
“I can wait till he gets here.”
“Good, and in the meantime you can tell me why you won’t go out with Deacon.”
“I don’t know how that’s any of your business,” I snap before regretting it immediately. I know he’s trying to help, but even I don’t know what I need.
“Itismy business when the guy is here all the time and looking at you like you hung the damn moon. You’re either too oblivious to notice or too scared to just admit that you want to be with him.”
“It’s not that easy, okay?”
“Bullshit.” He points an accusatory finger at me. “You saw what I went through with Rhea, youwatchedas almost losingher ripped me apart, and now you’re doing it to yourself instead of learning from my mistakes.”
“It’s not like that.”
“It’s not? Because I saw him staring at the closed office door like whatever just happened sealed his fate.”
“That’s ridiculous, I…”
My words trail off as I go over everything leading up to that moment and after I’d finally gotten Cal back out the door. Deacon was gone and I didn’t blame him. Cal was a lot and he was in crisis mode. But why would Sorren say hesaw him staring at the closed office door like whatever just happened sealed his fate?
I try and rack my brain, all the words and moments blending together in my mind. Did I say something? I can’t think of anything but then again, Deacon’s presence always kind of scrambles my brain.
The first time I saw him I’d been tongue-tied. He’d come into Vetted Paws with his brother, Jude, to look at a dog, and I’d been unable to make words happen. He was the first man I was attracted to on a visceral level—the heart pounding, whole-body flushing kind of level—and it scared the hell out of me. Just looking at him made me feel like he could make or break my world.
It was too much.
It still is.
Every time I see him, I have the simultaneous urge to offer myself to him and also run and hide because I’m so terrified to take the leap. The worst part is I’ve been on a couple of dates since Fallon and I divorced, but absolutelynone of themcame close to the way I feel when Deacon justlooks at me.
How could I possibly explain that to him without chasing him away?
Hey, Deacon, I’ve never been with a man, but you make me forget my name and I get hard just seeing you.
Yeah, no, that’s not creepy at all.
“Well, on that note,” Sorren drawls and I wonder how long I’ve been staring at nothing across the room, “I’m heading home. Let me know if something comes up.”
“I will.”
He grunts a goodbye which is practically like a hug for him, and it makes me smile. A marine vet and an air force vet walk into a bar—it’s definitely the start of a joke. But what’s not a joke is what we’ve built here at Vetted Paws, and so even though I’m tied up in knots over a man I can’t have a full conversation with, I’m proud as I look around the lobby.
We’re making a difference.
And for now, that’s enough.
“Dad!”Briggs yells as he rushes in the house after school. His eyes are bright and he’s out of breath like he just ran a marathon instead of from the bottom of the driveway to the door.
“Hey Buddy,” I answer, amused. “Did you have a good day at school?” He nods and hefts his backpack onto the high-back chair at the island. I liked the chairs when I got them, but now that Briggs is bigger, he likes to see how fast he can make them swivel back and forth, and I’m waiting for the day he flings himself out of it and onto the floor.
“Yeah!” he whoops. “I’msohungry.” I raise one eyebrow as he rolls his eyes and slips from the chair and heads toward the fridge.
“Momstill makes me a sandwich after school.”
