“You know that’s not what I mean,” he replies, and I sit forward, my knee sliding along the inside of his thigh. “Stop distracting me,” he hisses, trying—and failing—to move away from me.
“I’m making a point.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
“Ilikethis. You and me. I’ve done games, Tanner. I’ve done relationships and hookups and I’ve done only my right hand. I’m happy with the way things are, and I’m also happy to explore things with you—but sex isn’t just penetration.”
Desire mars his handsome face, the warm color of his eyes glinting in the low light. “It’s frustrating,” he admits. “I want you and I want more—especially after not seeing you, and so logically, it shouldn’t be a problem. But I’m fucking keyed up and needy and I hate feeling insecure for no damn reason other than I’m exhausted and missed you.”
“None of that is a problem,” I tell him firmly, my eyebrows slashing down. “You don’t think I’ve missed you too? That Ihaven’t been aching to touch you and relieve so much of the stress I know you’ve been carrying?”
“Can you stop being so supportive for a second?”
“No.”
“Deacon, I’m serious.”
“So am I, and I think you’re putting unrealistic expectations on yourself because youthinkthat’s what I want but I just wantyou.Wherever you are, that’s where I’ll meet you. It’s been a hell of a week so yeah, emotions are high, but that’s life, Tanner. It’s not a deal-breaker. Trust me, there are plenty of other ways I plan on getting you off.”
He leans back in the booth, his shoulders slumping as a sad smile crosses his lips. “It’s a special kind of torture craving that intimacy but not being ready to have it. Iwantto feel you inside me—I know that.”
“And now I do too.” I wink, humbled he was willing to share that with me. It’s the first time he’s actually said the words. “But there’s still no rush.”
“I appreciate that. And I wasn’t worried, but then I saw that guy and I…”
Leaning forward, I take his hand in mine, threading our fingers together. “He doesn’t matter.”
“Still don’t want him touching you.”
“I think you took care of that when you mauled me by the bar.”
“I did not.”
“You did, and I fucking loved you claiming me like that.”
He blushes. “But…”
“What’s so wrong with goin’ slow and savoring all the moments leading up to it? I’ve had my mouth and hands all over you. Are you saying you don’t enjoy it?”
“You know I do,” he mouths, his eyes widening as he looks around to see if anyone is listening. They’re not, but that’s not really the point.
“Then I need to know if you trust me.” When he opens his mouth, I keep talking. “Not just in bed but here. Do you trust me when you’re not here?”
“Yes.”
“I need you to be sure, Tanner.”
“I am. Tonight just caught me off guard.”
“I think it’s normal, expected even. I just want to make sure you know if anyone approaches me, the only thing I’ll be is polite. That part of my life is and has been done since I met you.”
“Thank you.” He blows out a breath. “I know. I guess I just needed to hear it.”
“Want to know what I think?”
“What’s that?”
“I think we should go back to my place so I can makeabsolutely sureyou know how I feel about you.”
