“I think you should,” she replies. “I’ve been thinking about going to school so I can finally get my degree in audio engineering.”
I stop what I’m doing and look at her for the firsttime since she entered the small room. She leaned back in her chair, staring off into the distance. I’d never heard her talk about wanting to go to college until now because she always swore it wasn’t for her. I was curious to know what had changed her mind.
“Wow, now that’s something I never thought I’d hear,” I tease. “Are you sick?”
“No, I’m not sick,” she laughs. “I’m just, you know, really trying to take my music seriously, and I wanna learn more about the production behind the songs. I know everyone thinks I’m a screw-up, but I’m trying to do better.”
“Like I said not too long ago, I’m proud of you, Mo,” I assure her. “And it’s not because you decided to go to college, because I know college isn’t for everyone. No, I'm proud of you because you’re following your dreams and doing everything you can to make them come true. It’s very inspirational.”
“Ugh, you’re such a sap,” she groans, shaking her head. I laugh. “Enough about me. Let’s talk about why you’ve been so gloomy these last few days.”
My smile drops, and I turn my attention back to the task at hand. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Kay, come onnn,” she groans as she moves over to sit beside me. “Ever since you came back from spending the weekend in Lafayette with Zee, it’s like you’ve been closed off. You’ve barely spoken, and you have a permanent frown.” I roll my eyes. “Did something happen? Are you and Zee having a tiff?”
“A tiff? What are you? An 85-year-old British woman?”
“I’m serious, Kayla,” she says with a straight face. “What’s up with you?”
I sigh, placing the items back down on the table. My mind had been all over the place these last couple of days, so of course, she’d picked up on my mood. She’d always been able to tell when something was bothering me ever since we were younger, and vice versa. So, why was I even trying to hide anything at this point?
“I am in love with a woman that I’m too scared to admit my feelings to because the thought of me doing so and her not feeling the same terrifies me,” I finally admit. “And you can tease me all you want, but this shit is harder than it looks. What if shedoeslike me back and then shit goes left, and I lose not only her but also Serenity? What if-”
“It all goes right, and you’re just overthinking it?” she cuts me off. “Kay, there’s no fucking way that woman doesn’t like you. Shit, I’m willing to bet that she feels the same way about you.”
“How can you be so sure, though?”
“Because I can see it, dumbass. You’re so oblivious to how she looks at you and caters to you. There’s literally honey dripping from her eyes whenever you’re around, and even though I like flirting with her to rile you up, I know that you’re the only one she has eyes for. Kay, that woman loves you real bad.”
I didn’t reply because my head was once again spinning like crazy. I tried to think back to the times when Zee and I were together to see if I could pick up on anything, but every time I saw her smiling face, my heart would pound wildly. I wasn’t sure what her real feelings were for me, but a small part of me was desperately hoping that Mo was right in her assessment of our time together.
“I guess only time will tell.”
“You’re ridiculous,” she sighs, throwing her hands up in defeat. “Whatever. Just know that when y’all finally get married, Imma be standing behind you with a hat that says ‘I TOLD YOU SO!’ So, don’t be surprised.”
“You’re so annoying,” I laugh, shaking my head. “Now, if you’re done dissecting my life, could you please leave me alone so I can finish this?”
“Sure, nerd,” she nods before standing. She pauses before saying, “Wait, aren’t you supposed to be meeting Zseyah at the mall so y’all can take Sera to see that new movie?”
“Yeah, what-shit!” I exclaim, glancing up at the clock. I’d been so lost in thought that I also lost track of time. I quickly hop up and start cleaning my station. “Fuck, she’s going to kill me for forgetting.”
“That’s because you were in here with your head in the clouds,” she teases, and I cut my eyes at her. “Hey, just jokes. Here, let me do this, and you gon head so you won’t be later than you already are.”
I thank her before rushing out of the room and heading towards the exit of the building. Once I’m outside, I book it towards my house, making it there in record time. After a quick change of clothes, I grab my bag and am out the door. A couple of minutes later, I’m pulling out of the driveway and starting my trip as quickly, yet safely, as possible.
Serenity runs ahead as she sings one of the songs from the movie we’d just seen. Thanks to Morgan’s reminder, I wasable to make it just in time to get a snack for us before we headed into the theater. The movie was cute, definitely aimed towards kids around Sera’s age, but Zee and I still enjoyed it. Now, we were headed to one of our favorite restaurants to have an early dinner. It was only a block away, so we opted to walk instead of driving.
“Okay, Princess, let’s get you settled,” I say after we’re seated at a booth by the hostess. I spread out the coloring mat in front of her and unwrapped the crayons. “Are you gonna color me and Mommy something pretty?”
“Yes!” she nods excitedly. She takes the time to sign the word “pretty” and Zee and I compliment her on how well she’s doing. “Dang, Princess. You’re gonna be unstoppable in a few years. You’re so smart, sweetie.”
“Thank you, Mama Kay,” She giggles before tuning her attention to her coloring page.
I glance at Zseyah and see her staring at us lovingly as she rests her cheek in the palm of her hand. I pull out my phone and snap a few pictures of her. She was so gorgeous even when she didn’t do anything. I could stare at her forever and be content for the rest of my life.
“Are you taking a picture of me?” she chuckles, and I nod. “Like what you see?”
“Always,” I reply. I turn my phone so she can see the pics as well. “You’re beautiful, but what’s new?”
